When Thoughts Cease

Dear Amit Varma

2009-05-13T03:19:00.009+05:30

Dear Amit Varma

You should know that writing open letters is mostly lame. Anyway,

1. In a recent blog post, you make a below-the-belt comment (quite literally) about how Sanjay Gandhi should have practised what he preached about forceful sterilization. You suggest it would have spared us Varun Gandhi's crap about forceful sterilization. Oh man! Aren't we funny! You seem to think it was a mighty witty comment. Except that Varun Gandhi said no such crap. Are you man enough to withdraw that post, now that the editor of the Daily Telegraph has clarified that Varun Gandhi made no comment on forceful sterilization? Will you issue an apology for that cheap comment? Going by your track record, I'm guessing you'll keep that post on your blog to elicit cheap laughs.

2. You wrote an open letter to our Sports Minister MS Gill where you start off equating gambling and betting with investing in the stock market, and then you go off on your favourite tangent of unnecessary and unjustified government involvement. At the risk of lowering my blog's intellectual rating, I reproduce below what you have written:

Dear MS Gill

Cricinfo states that you have objected to an SMS competition being run during the IPL on the grounds that it is “akin to betting and gambling.” I have two questions for you:

One, do you not gamble? If you have ever invested in the stock market, or in property, you have gambled. Indeed, every career choice you have made is effectively a gamble. We face choices at every stage in our lives, weigh up the risks involved, and make decisions. All of that is no less gambling than, say, betting that Matthew Hayden will score 10 runs in the next over.

Really? How ridiculous and nonsensical can your liberal rhetoric get? The stock market, in the medium to long term creates value while bringing in returns to investors. The gambling aspect of stock investing is only confined to day trading. It requires blinkered vision of the highest order to equate investing in the stock markets with betting and gambling. I can't say I expected better economics from you. Even then, your pontification to MS Gill was cringe-inducing.

We face choices at every stage in our lives, weigh up the risks involved, and make decisions. All of that is no less gambling than, say, betting that Matthew Hayden will score 10 runs in the next over.

OUCH!

Anyway, regards and all that.

(I can't decide what to sign off as. Now this is a choice. Must weigh risks, must gamble.... OMG Matthew hayden just hit a SIX!)

To do a Nehru

2009-04-17T13:17:00.005+05:30

One way to do a Nehru is to oppose Israel while asking for help

During clashes with Pakistan, India secretly asked Israel for weapons. It sought mortars and mortar bombs without Israeli markings, got them, and publicly continued to condemn Israel

[Link]

To do a Nehru :
Idiom. Involves the following sequence of events -
1. Oppose creation of Israel
2. Ask Israel for help in '62,'65 and '71 wars.
3. Israel sends ammunition
4. Tell them to remove Israeli markings from ammunition (presumably because Muslim brothers in India will be offended otherwise.)
5. Condemn Israel in public; support Palestinian cause

Example: I helped him so much, still he did a Nehru on me.

What renunciation?

2009-04-11T01:40:00.007+05:30

The entire media cabal crowed in unison that Sonia Gandhi made a supreme sacrifice by abnegating the throne in 2004. Here are some samples of the effervescent praise she got:

Times of India:

letting go of the PM's chair will be inevitably seen as an act of unparalleled sacrifice [..]

Indian Express:

By choosing to 'humbly decline', she has played a masterstroke [..]
For one, it allows her to assume the high moral ground and signal that she was by no means enamoured of power for its own sake, but power for the principles she believes in

The Hindu:

The Hindu, which described Mrs Gandhi's decision a "stunning act of self denial and political renunciation", said she had "grown enormously in political and moral stature" after Tuesday.

"You have proven wrong all those critics who saw you as a power-hungry person," wrote the newspaper's commentator Harish Khare in an article 'Salute to Sonia'.

According to the BBC, most newspapers said Mrs Gandhi's decision was in the "true Indian tradition" of renunciation.

What am I getting at, you might ask. The fantastic sycophancy of the Indian media? Not quite.
I want to analyse how much renunciation Sonia Gandhi has really practiced over the past five years. It turns out that her decision was indeed a "masterstroke" - not for the reasons suggested by the Indian Express - but because it has allowed her an unparalleled reign of five years of power without accountability.

Here is a google search for the phrase "sonia to decide" (with the quotes). It throws up close to 6400 results. A search on "sonia to decide", without the quotes throws up 1,420,000 results. Here are some sample results:

'Sonia will decide my future' (State: Andhra Pradesh)

Sonia to decide nominees for 6 K'nataka seats (State: Karnataka)

Sonia to decide on axing Tytler, Sajjan Kumar (State:Delhi)

Sonia to decide on action against Alva (National)

Hamirpur by-election: Sonia to decide candidate (State: Himachal Pradesh)

It's for Sonia to decide: Amarinder (State: Punjab)

The Punjab Chief Minister, Amarinder Singh, said today any decision on whether or not he would continue in office was up to the Congress president, Sonia Gandhi,

Sonia to decide on Harayana CM (State: Harayana)

Sonia to decide on Rajasthan Chief ministership (State: Rajasthan)

Sonia Gandhi will decide next PM: Lalu Yadav (National)

DPCC leaves it to Sonia to decide candidates (State: Delhi)

Sonia to decide Madhya Pradesh Leader of Opposition (State: Madhya Pradesh)

CLP asks Sonia to decide fate of Rangasamy Govt. (State: Pondicherry)

Sonia will decide on polls: Dharam Singh (State: Karnataka)

AP CM wants Sonia to decide on Telangana issue soon (State: Andhra Pradesh)

Congress authorizes Sonia to decide presidential candidate (National)

Sonia to decide on South Goa bypoll candidate(State: Goa)

Sonia to decide on Congress Rajya Sabha candidate (State: Kerala)

Govinda says only Sonia Gandhi can decide his future (State: Maharashtra)

Sonia to name Chattisgarh CLP leader (State: Chattisgarh)

Sonia will decide nominees for 9 LS seats from state (State: Maharashtra)

'Sacrifice of power' did anyone say? Renunciation? Puh-leez! Self-denial? Phooey! The lady is having an orgasmic reign of power out there! She runs the country according to her whims and fancies, her likes and dislikes, and her personal preferences and opinions.

And she's not the PM. Quite scary.

Did you know?

2009-04-11T01:32:00.003+05:30

All meanings of 'congress' (Answers.com)

n.

A formal assembly of representatives, as of various nations, to discuss problems.
The national legislative body of a nation, especially a republic.
Congress
1. The national legislative body of the United States, consisting of the Senate and the House of Representatives.
2. The two-year session of this legislature between elections of the House of Representatives.
1. The act of coming together or meeting.
2. A single meeting, as of a political party or other group.
Sexual intercourse.

No wonder India is so fucked.

Muslims must elect Muslims - WTF!?

2009-04-07T09:21:00.004+05:30

Pioneer OP-ED: Muslims must elect Muslims

I left the following comment on the above article:

The idea of Pakistan came up cloaked in such a proposal - Muslims should be represented by Muslims. The author makes unsubstantiated claims about the genuineness of the Batla House encounter, and also the "kidnapping" of "innocent Muslims" by the ATS. On the contrary, the ATS has virtually stopped pursuing Muslim terrorist moles holed up in ghettos in Delhi, Mumbai, Kolkata and elsewhere.

This idea should be consigned to the dustbin.

What next? Hindus must only elect Hindus, Christians must only elect Christians - let us go the whole hog and create separate nations for everyone. Let us complete the madness that began in 1947.

Mccullum's catch to dismiss Dravd - this is good

2009-04-05T22:51:00.004+05:30

[UPDATE: Youtube link available now. I have removed the slow non-Youtube version]

Everytime Rahul Dravid is dismissed, he wears this look on his face to suggest that the world has wronged him. Grow up Rahul, stop looking back while you walk back to the pavilion.

Marugelara O Raghava

2009-04-05T05:58:00.005+05:30

(If you are viewing this post in a feed reader such as Google Reader, you might need to click through to the blog in order for the song to play)

Sudha Raghunathan does justice to this masterpiece from Thyagaraja. What a truly awesome composition.

NOTE: I use awesome in it's true sense - "inspiring awe". The slang meaning - "very impressive" - ill fits the need of a person like me describing a masterclass.

Here are the words and their meaning: (sourced from here)

pallavi

marugElarA O rAghavA

anupallavi

marugEla carAcara ruPa parAtpara sUrya sudhAkra lOcana

caraNam

anni nIvanucu natarangamuna dinnagA vEDaki telisi koNTinayya
ninnE gani madi nennajAla norula nannu brOvavayya tyAgarAjanuta

Meaning

O Raghava (Lord Rama)! Why do you need to conceal yourself? The Universe itself is your form, with the sun and the moon as your eyes. By deep contemplation, inquiry, and search, I have directly perceived that you are everything, and everything is within you. There is no place in my mind for any other God. I solicit your protection.

Light bulb jokes redux

2009-03-31T09:38:00.000+05:30

http://bucolicplague.wordpress.com/2009/03/31/light-bulb-jokes-redux/

Spreading anti-BJP canards is so much fun

2009-03-19T23:06:00.002+05:30

Rediff joins the party against the Party.

Pilibhit is the town in Uttar Pradesh at the center of all the controversy surrounding Varun Gandhi and his communal [sic] speech.

Rediff reports, quoting a "prominent Samajwadi Party - turned - Congress leader, who has earned much credibility with the local farmers on account of his commitment and dedication to their cause."

'Pilibhit has no history of violence'

Here is the Wikipedia entry for Religious riots in Pilibhit

Only reinforces popular belief that the mainstream media is a Congress-Communist mouthpiece.

Sleep-inducing did you say?

2009-03-12T02:16:00.003+05:30

Here's a sleep-inducing article on Cricinfo about Sleep-inducing run-fests and exciting droughts . I was yawning like crazy while reading that article. Now that's a delicious irony.
(But hey, what would be even more ironic is if someone found this post sleep-inducing. )

But seriously, I'd rather watch that sleep-inducing cricket than read that article. Immensely boring.

Ravi Shastri fails Turing Test

2009-03-12T00:48:00.009+05:30

In an unprecedented event, cricket commentator Ravi Shastri has become the first ever human to fail (a modified version of) the Turing Test. This indicates that while some extremely intelligent machines can (and do) exhibit human-like behaviour, the reverse is also possible i.e an extremely dull-headed human being can behave like a machine.

In an remote experiment conducted by a research group at Columbia University, Ravi Shastri was subjected to a modified Turing Test. The experiment involved respondents listening to cricket commentary on matches right from when 1995 (when Shastri first started commentating), to the current India-New Zealand series. 99.74% of respondents asserted that they were "absolutely sure" that the commentary was a computer-generated sound clip and not a human commentator. Of the remaining respondents, 0.25% said that they were able to "guess" that it was a human, but could not be absolutely certain. The rest of the respondents, said that they "knew it was their favourite Ravi Shastri" and even tried to slip in a few words of praise on the feedback form. These repondents were classified as retarded. After filtering out these useless data, the research group chose to publish its findings in what is now being hailed as a pathbreaking paper.

The research was funded by Channel Nine of Australia and co-funded by Shastri's former employers ESPN-Star. "We chose Ravi Shastri for this experiment because it required a subject with incredibly low levels of cranial matter", said a spokesperson. Other contenders were Arun Lal and Rameez Raja. "But Shastri won hands down as the subject of choice", said a beaming member of the research group. Ravi Shastri is now being contacted by a research group focussing on voice production from computers. A representative said, "As an extremely dull human being producing repetitive commentary of the highest quality, Mr. Shastri's services would be invaluable to us. As computer scientists focussing on developing computer systems simulating verbal production, we are intrigued at his ability to produce non-stop cliches and catch-phrases with such low intelligence levels".

When contacted by news agencies, Ravi Shastri issued this written statement:

"I just get the feeling that this is just what the doctor ordered. This will do my confidence a world of good. Make no mistake, I'm a tall man and I can hit the ball like a tracer bullet and the fielder can chase it till the ball wins the race, but this achievement will do me no harm whatsoever - it doesn't matter how they come as long as they come. For now I can be rest assured that my post-commentary career will take the aerial route."

(Related side note: This written statement also failed the aforementioned Turing Test)

Raghuvamsa Sudha

2009-03-11T06:14:00.005+05:30

This song makes me so happy. It makes want to jump around and dance! It energizes me and fills me with bliss at the same time. Simply sensational - Raghuvamsa Sudha in Kadana Kutuhala ragam. Sung by the peerless MS Subbulakshmi.

PS: R. Prasanna on the guitar. Fabulous stuff.

Ramachandra Guha is puzzled - Let us help him

2009-03-04T02:37:00.006+05:30

Ramachandra Guha is puzzled as to why Sri Lankan cricketers were attacked. He says it "defies rationale and even irrational logic" (irrational logic? I beseech you to define that for us, O Eminent Historian!)

Anyway, let us help him sort out his doubts. Guha presumes that other terror attacks have some "justification". Sample the steaming pile of bovine crap that he wrote in his post 26/11 article in the Wall Street Journal

The failure to punish the perpetrators of successive pogroms has thrown some young men into the arms of fundamentalist groups.

So, naturally, for a man conditioned to think in this manner about every terrorist attack, the question arose in Mr. Guha's mind - "What pogrom were these young gunmen victims of?"
(Gunmen or terrorists? Ah, that's another story)

Anyway, Mr. Guha dived into his long database of Hindu pogroms. But then he realised that the victims were Sri Lankans. Come again? S-r-i L-a-n-k-a-n-s. "Whoa!", said Mr. Guha. His database had drawn a blank. The Sri Lankans had done nothing to upset his favourite minority community. Then why were the followers of the religion of peace angry with the Sri Lankans? Why did twelve gunmen spray bullets on the Sri Lankan cricket team?

Explaining the repercussions of Tuesday's attack, in a telephonic interview from Bangalore, he said, "Today's event is very puzzling.

Mr.Guha, it is quite easy to see why you are puzzled. When you go about assigning justifications to all terrorist attacks on the "communal" civilians in India, an attack on Sri Lankan cricketers will definitely seem mysterious. The issue, Mr.Guha, is not so inscrutable. The answer lies in the ideology pursued by these "misguided" young men. These men follow a violent, fanatic ideology called Islamism.

Instead of going about trying to justify what are plain brutal cold-blooded and unforgivable murders, I suggest you try and understand the root cause of these attacks - not poverty, not one of those "pogroms" in your database, not Kashmir - but Islamism.

Simple, no?

Steve Bucknor to retire from umpiring

2009-02-23T09:55:00.004+05:30

In one of his best decisions till date, Steve Bucknor has decided to quit international umpiring.

GO Bucknor! I mean go, just go.

Endaro Mahanubhavulu...Andariki Vandanamulu

2009-02-22T23:10:00.004+05:30

This is a beautiful composition by Saint Tyagaraja. It is in Telugu like many of his compositions. It is set to Sri ragam and Adi talam. I cannot get the song out of my head (though it doesn't seem like I want to). It's an enthralling piece. Scintillating really.

Here is the meaning (from Shivkumar Kalyanaraman)

Endaro Mahanubhavulu

Andariki Vandanamulu

Endaro mahaanubhavulu: There are many great men

Andariki: To all

Vandanamulu: Namaskarams

[Meaning: My namaskarams to all those great men who have attained dizzy heights in their spiritual experience and who have lived in all the ages.]

The entire meaning is available here. It helped me enjoy the song more.

Linkfest

2009-02-16T04:47:00.005+05:30

Here's a collection of links I've posted on my Facebook profile over the past few months. Most of these links appear in posts by bloggers I read and admire - such as Atanu Dey, Barbarindians, Nitin Pai, Sandeep, Rajeev Srinivasan, Offstumped, Reality-check India and other such "Hindu fascist communal" bloggers. ;)

Democracy vs. Republic (Source: Barbarindians: A more kick-ass blogger I have never read)
The various forms of government and how being a democracy is wrongly confused with being a republic.

Barbarindians | Award Season
Award season is silly season in India. Barbarindians analyzes the trend in the awards given out this year.

As you can see, three states dominate the awards, bagging more than the 50% of the awards. Likewise, the categories Art, Literature and Medicine hog almost three fourths of all awards. If you add "Social Work", together they account for more than 80% of all awards.

Of course, art and literature are areas where it is easiest to fake achievement. These areas have rather fuzzy definitions of achievement. It's enough if you please the wine-sipping elite. Writing books that are in line with the position taken by the government of the day is a surefire way of getting yourself nominated for one of these awards. Or, draw nude paintings of Goddesses of a certain religion. Of course, if you're not the artsy types you can do research on "Himalayan glaciers".

Mysterious new category: Research on Himalayan Glaciers

Given that the other categories carry generic names such as Arts etc., this goes a little too much into details, doesn't it? There are categories for science, or if you prefer, even for Environment. So what prompted the Government to create a brand new category for what must be a highly specialized field of research?

The award went to one Prof. Syed Iqbal Hasnain, formerly Vice Chancellor of Calicut University who appears to be a geologist. He was also head of Geology department of JNU.

Dr. Hasnain has some curious views on Madrasa education. But that is really is the tip of the iceberg.

Recently there has been a surge of research about the dangers faced by Himalayan glaciers. For instance this report from Reuters. It is perhaps a coincidence that a certain community which otherwise shuns modern education shows great interest in this research.

To summarize, this years award season is a triumph of secularism.

That Amarnath connection is genius!

Barbarindians | Award season: Addendum
Two excerpts:

In an act of characteristic magnanimity, Sister Nirmala, Mother Teresa's successor, dedicated her Padma Vibhushan to all those who work for the poor. Her first reaction upon hearing the news was: What did I get it for?

The fact that M.F. Hussain got his Padma awards (all three), and Rushdie never will is proof that secularism works and communalism doesn't.

Retributions | So Who Else Should NDTV Sue?
Barkha Dutt threatens to sue a blogger for apparently making unverified claims and spreading rumours. The blogger is forced to withdraw his post in face of this threat. It turns out that NDTV themselves had quoted the same blogger in one of their post-26/11 news items. So, as Rohit asks, who else should NDTV sue?

The Prime Minister of Gujarat- Hindustan Times

Asked how many wanted Modi to become India’s Prime Minister, all hands went up in the class of 50

The Mis-Education of a Millionaire

Don’t expect the real India: Danny Boyle gives guilty liberals absolution through game-show gimmickry

Boyle’s patronizing pattern is revealed when survival-minded Jamal swindles white tourists. “You wanted to see a bit of the real India? You’re in it!” he says. And the bleeding hearts respond, “Well here’s a bit of the real America” giving Jamal a hundred-dollar bill—his first taste of unexamined extortion.

Slumdog Millionaire - entertainer? maybe. Real India. NOT.

NYTimes.com | Obama's worst Pakistan nightmare: What to do about Pakistan's nuclear arsenal
The new administration’s biggest fear is not jihadists taking control of the border regions. It’s what happens if the country’s nuclear arsenal falls into the wrong hands.

Biggest scam in the history of independent India | Reality Check India

Facts that have recently come to light indicate that the telecom spectrum scam is the biggest financial scandal in the history of Independent India, involving an amount not less than Rs 50,000 crore and possibly as high as Rs 1,00,000 crore — as much as one-fortieth of the country’s national income. This sum is certainly more than the total amount spent by the Central government in a year on health-care and roughly three-fourths of the fiscal deficit indicated in the Union budget for the current financial year.

All that money...and no one's making a noise about it.

Mumbai Tragedy | The Daily Show | Comedy Central
John Oliver explains that when you're a bankrupt ideology pursuing a bankrupt strategy, the only move you've got is the dick one.

...it appears to be the work of a group of unbelievable motherfuckers working in tandem with giant arseholes.

Sam Harris: The Problem with Atheism - On Faith at washingtonpost.com

Many of us seem think that all we can do is just keep our foot on the gas until we run out of road.

Some miscellaneous links (sourced from nowhere in particular):

Top 50 Goals in the UEFA Champions League
A collection of dazzling artistry. Some known faces and some virtual unknowns make it to the list. Worth the three-quarters of an hour that I spent watching it.

BBC NEWS | Special Reports | Obama's Kenyan brother arrested
There's an air of mystery about Barack Obama. Are there any skeletons in your closet that Uncle Sam doesn't know about, you naughty boy?

The Facebook of Genesis
Hilarious stuff.

BBC NEWS | Technology | Editorial row engulfs Wikipedia
It is proposing a review of the rules, that would see revisions being approved before they were added to the site. The proposal comes after edits of the pages of Senators Robert Byrd and Edward Kennedy gave the false impression both had died.

BBC NEWS | Americas | Ma n seeks to join brother in jail

A man broke into a petrol station and called 911, saying he wanted to go to jail to be with his brother, US authorities have said.

Prison break season 1 redux?

CNN.com | McCain concedes defeat
McCain's concession speech. Beautiful.

There's so much more that I read everyday. I'm going to post those links here as often as I can. Also check out my shared items. Some kick-ass articles there.

Reading articles/watching videos on the web is the biggest drain on my time. But at least it's better than.....well...better than...doing nothing.

Happy and gay

2009-02-11T02:52:00.003+05:30

Happy and gay,
while the captain looks the other way.

If it ain't broke.....

2009-02-08T20:59:00.003+05:30

don't fix it.

This is what happens if you try.

Google FAIL!

2009-01-31T20:21:00.010+05:30

Something seems to be wrong with Google search (Or is it just my computer?). All search results on Google come with a warning "this site may harm your computer". Nothing wrong with a generic warning, but I think you should exclude your own sites from it, no?

A search for "google" on Google

I dutifully emailed the picture to Failblog. Wait for it! :)

UPDATE: The problem appears to have been fixed. Was it a Google problem? I'm keen to know because even people around me reported that error, so it can't be computer-specific.

UPDATE 2: A list of websites that caught out the error. (via google news - Hah! The irony!)

Google Breaks!: "This site may Harm your computer": Digital lifestyles(alpha-remix)

Google taking security a little too seriously?: CNET.com

Google search inoperable, reporting unfounded errors: TG Daily

So it was in fact a Google error. No one was able to click through to the search results because of this error. Google might have just lost a hell of a lot of money!

Just as well that they fixed it. Good for them. And us.

UPDATE 3: Google's explanation

Not a "healthy" situation

2009-01-21T19:39:00.002+05:30

Rediff reports

Prime Minister Dr Manmohan Singh,who underwent an angiography as part of a series of heart-related tests at the All India Institute of Medical Sciences, New Delhi, can continue to live a normal life and even discharge his duties as prime minister according to Dr Vivek Jawali, chief cardio-thoracic and vascular surgeon, Wockhardt Hospitals, Bengaluru

Discharge his duties as prime minister? You mean dance to Madam's tunes?

Games people play....

2009-01-20T14:02:00.003+05:30

A week before the November 26 terror attacks, the BBC carried an article - 'Hindu terrorism' debate grips India . (I'm surprised they used quotes. And I'm even more surprised they actually called it a debate. But that's besides the point. I mention this article because it's the "I'm feeling Lucky" page for a google search on "Hindu terrorism")

The overzealous and left-wing-liberal English language media lapped up the Hindu terrorism story and splashed it all over their front pages and primetime bulletins. No longer was terrorism confined to only Islam. Hindus were equal offenders.Or so they claimed.

Now the story is being used as a stick by Pakistan to beat India with. Pakistan is demanding the extradition of Colonel Purohit in return for the 26/11 suspects. The secularism game has backfired horribly. A cheap vote-grabbing tactic has come back to bite the UPA government right where it hurts.

The filthy traitors in the Indian media and the government should hang their heads in shame. This should be a case fit enough to press charges of treason.

Film or text?

2009-01-12T11:10:00.002+05:30

I've begun watching the TV series 'Prison Break' this vacation. Season 1 was so gripping that I watched it almost at a stretch. But as I moved from episode to episode I noticed there were times in the story when I found it highly unpleasant to watch. I don't mean that I found it particularly gory or anything. I mean that there were times when I only wanted to know what happened, not see it play out. I felt that I would have preferred reading a novel if there was one available.

Maybe it has less to do with my dislike of unpleasant scenes (like for example, any scene with T-Bag planning something sinister)than with the fact that a book allows me to race along at my speed. Yes, the TV series sometimes drags.

Of course, most of the pleasure of watching a movie or TV series is in seeing the story play out in front of you - but most times I prefer just knowing what happened and letting my mind imagine the scenes getting played out.

BREAKING NEWS: England kiss Ashes goodbye

2009-01-07T23:58:00.002+05:30

Well, it's the same thing really.
Pietersen was a captain in the Dhoni mould - Young, aggressive, and inspirational. Too bad.

Random

2009-01-06T04:15:00.005+05:30

1. Laloo Prasad on lecture tour to Japan

CAT/GRE Verbal Tip: The word jaunt fits in very nicely here.

2. I am watching "Prison Break". I am also downloading 180 episodes of Seinfeld. I am jobless.

3. Speaking of jobs, here is an idiom (learnt from experience) :
A job in hand is worth two in Bush-land.

4. I wanted to be a civil engineer.

The 2008 that never happened

2009-01-02T03:18:00.020+05:30

Here is a list of news headlines that were never seen in 2008. Hoping for a brighter 2009.

"Up yours" says Kumble
Seeking to douse the fire that has erupted in the wake of the farcical Sydney test match, Indian captain Anil Kumble blasted the India media in a press conference today. When an extremely irritating journalist from CNN-IBN asked if he was planning retirement, Kumble simply showed him the middle finger to much applause in the room.

Google shuts down orkut; millions cheer move

In a move that brought much-needed cheer to millions in India and Brazil, Google announced that it was shutting down its social networking site Orkut. "We saw no point in continuing to ape Facebook", said a spokesperson for Google India.
A Facebook spokesperson welcomed the move and said that Facebook plans to include some new features to deal with the imminent influx of millions of Orkut users. A Facebook representative said, "We plan to introduce features like the fraaanship request. We also plan to make our photo albums, feeds, applications and actions less cool so that orkut users feel at home."

"It would be perfect if only Facebook displayed the wrong number of friends and wall posts on my profile", said an active orkut user.

IIMs ask students for real reason for MBA

Tired with the answers spouted by students in post-CAT interviews, the IIM admissions committees have begun questioning students for the real reason for them pursuing an MBA. "We thought it might be interesting to know the real reason behind them pursuing an MBA", said a tired-looking faculty member who did not wish to be named.

"There is no real reason except ..well...", said a smug -looking second-year student of IIM Ahmedabad. "This is insane. What next? Investment banks expecting a real reason for why we want to join them?", said an irate-looking IIM aspirant. Similar emotions were echoed across the student community, both inside and outside the IIMs.

In what appears to be a related development, the IITs have reported a surge in the demand for GATE application forms.

Muslims in mass worldwide protest against Mumbai attacks

In an unprecedented show of solidarity, comparable only with the protests against the Danish cartoons, Muslims worldwide came out in huge numbers to protest the Mumbai attacks being termed as a Hindu-Zionist conspiracy. "Can't they see it? It is insane to call it a Hindu-Zionist conspiracy. They simply don't have our level of proficiency", said a young Muslim madrassa teacher in Rawalpindi.

Dhoni skips inaugral IPL; eyes Lanka tour

India captain MS Dhoni has decided to give the inaugral edition of the Indian Premier League a miss. Apparently, he wants to keep himself fit for the Sri Lanka tour that follows immediately after.
Meanwhile Ranchi was rife with reports of a flying pig.

Sagarika Ghose loses voice, can no longer anchor
Noted loudmouth anchor Sagarika Ghose has been diagnosed with a throat condition that prevents her from speaking normally. She will have to undergo surgery but can no longer anchor news shows. "This is a threat to free speech - literally", said Ms. Ghose in a written statement.

Many NGOs fighting against public nuisance have expressed happiness at this development. "Areas around the CNN-IBN office in New Delhi have shown a drastic drop in the noise pollution levels", said a bearded gentleman belonging to an NGO.

Cut the crap: Obama

In a stinging attack on "millions of ignorant fools" revelling in his victory, US President-elect Barack Obama today asked the world to "cut the crap". "You are deluding yourselves. I am president of the United States of America, not the world".

Nevertheless, many jobless young bimbettes in Bangalore who were planning to host a grand party to celebrate Obama's victory seem to be going ahead with the celebration. "Why lose out on an excuse to pah-teee?" said a young lady.

Happy 2009!

2009-01-01T05:22:00.002+05:30

Happy 2009 folks. It's been an eventful year for me. I learnt to make decisions!

UPDATE: Happy New Year India!

"ima, ima...."

2008-12-02T09:15:00.004+05:30

[photograph]
Ruth Fremson/The New York Times

[Two-year-old Moshe Holtzberg cried for his mother during a memorial service for his parents, Rabbi Gavriel Holtzberg, 29, and Rivka, 28, the Lubavitch emissaries in Mumbai who ran Nariman House at the Keneseth Eliyahoo Synagogue, on Monday in Mumbai, India.]

Robert F.Worth in NYT:

The couple’s orphaned 2-year-old son, Moshe Holtzberg, cried out for his parents, Rabbi Gavriel Holtzberg, 29, from Brooklyn, and his wife, Rivka, 28, an Israeli. The boy, carrying a small orange inflatable basketball, first cried “Dada” and then inconsolably “Ima,” which means mother in Hebrew, as he accompanied his grieving grandparents and dignitaries, including Israel’s ambassador to India, Mark Sofer, at a synagogue memorial service.

I can't believe this shit (ICBTS) - I

2008-11-30T13:26:00.004+05:30

This will be the first post in a series of posts under a new category - I can't believe this shit (ICBTS).

PTI reports:

President Patil visits Bali temple; prays for peace

The President said she held discussions with the Vietnamese leadership on the issue where there was a mutual agreement to face the challenge of terrorism unitedly..

How swell! Vietnam is with us! Let us see the terrorists attack us now. I bet the Lashkar cadres are quaking in their boots right now. Way to go Miss...errr....President.
BTW, we were taught in 5th standard Civics "The President's role is largely ceremonial because he acts on the advice of the PM and the Council of Ministers "

I guess Patil took the word "ceremonial" literally.

Further, the Jakarta Post reports:

In a phone interview, Andi said President Pratibha’s schedule in Indonesia — which will see her sign a memorandum of understanding (MoU) on trade with her Indonesian counterpart President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono — would remain largely intact despite the terrorist attacks in Mumbai.

According to the Indonesian Foreign Ministry, the two heads of state are scheduled to witness the signings of other MoUs, including on sports for children, oil and gas, agriculture and an education exchange program.
Andi said the Indian president’s only cancellation was a dinner with Governor Pastika on Friday, a time he said she would instead use to pray for the victims of the attacks and former Prime Minister of India V. P. Singh, who died of leukemia and kidney failure Thursday in New Delhi’s Apollo Hospital.

Seriously? This should be on Onion.com! The Supreme Commander of the Indian Armed Forces is holidaying in Bali!

Reform or perish

2008-11-28T06:09:00.005+05:30

I've been wondering about how all the attacks that Hinduism and its sacred texts have faced - from forces ranging from invading Muslim barbarians to pseudo-secular historians ready to spew venom against anything remotely Hindu - compare with how Islam and the Koran are treated.

Hinduism has been abused in modern times - tragically most by Hindus themselves, morons with some sort of a "reformist zeal" - the supposed inequality propounded in the form of the caste system has been denounced ad nauseum. School textbooks teach 7-year olds that the religion they belong to "needs reform". The caste system was almost always prefixed with the word "evil". When someone tries to present the caste system as a simple "division of labour" issue, he/she is denounced as bigoted and rascist. Why does no one talk of "misinterpretation" here?

Whenever someone confronts a Hindu about the caste system, he/she will meekly nod their heads. After all, who can "defend the indefensible"?

And when someone confronts a Muslim about these terror attacks, "misinterpretation" is the reply.

Why is it that only Hinduism always needs reform? In a worst case scenario, what does it propound - People must continue doing what their fathers used to do. Nowhere near what Islam propounds anyway. We can leave the caste system debate for another day I guess.

What am I getting at? The point I am making is that if every Tom, Dick and Harry who has passed the 7th standard denounces the caste system and says that Hinduism needs reform, why cannot there be a mass movement for reform of Islam?

Enough lives have been lost to "misinterpretation" (ah, I love that word now!) of the Koran already. Why leave room for misinterpretation at all? Why not expunge the offending verses? Or add a note explaining the supposed real intent behind the verses that encourage killing of "infidels"? Maybe I can give it the benefit of doubt and say that the offending verses in the Koran were written at a time when Islam was at war with the prevailing religions. Maybe it's not so much a misinterpretation issue as it is an issue of how relevant those exhortations are today.

And why cannot the zeal for reform come from within the Muslim community? Why do we have to make do with sporadic denouncing of terrorism, accompanied by reminders about the Babri masjid, Gujarat and mistreatment of arrested terror suspects? And why does terrorism have to be denounced as un-Islamic? Why not denounce it as inhuman or something utterly barbaric? Was the caste system denounced as Un-Hindu? On the contrary, it was (and still is) held up as an example of "bigotry" in Hinduism.

"Reform or perish" must be the message to Muslims in India.

It's war, stupid!

2008-11-27T06:41:00.014+05:30

(warning: incoherent rants ahead)

I'm going to punch the next person who coos "Terrorism has no religion". It's plain as to what religion terrorism has. No one is going to get fooled any longer. All loony liberal "secular" rhetoric can be confined to school essays and Independence day speeches.

It would be best if the media and the "progressive-liberal-secularists" stopped deluding themselves about Islamic terror. Islamic terror is one huge hydra-headed monster. Hindu terror is something that exists only in the realm of fancy (and in the wet dreams of Rajdeep Sardesai, Teesta Setalvad, Barkha Dutt, Arnab Goswami and their ilk).

The brazenness and scale of the attacks today signify an overt declaration of war against India. The funny thing is, even this might not be enough to jolt our invertebrate Government into any substantial steps of action. Shivraj Patil will still mutter about "strong action against the guilty". Do a favour and get yourself a spine. And oh, some b*lls as well. It is surprising how everyone gets away with terming every single attack as "an act of cowardice". It won't take much introspection to realise who is the real coward. It's really funny though.

I can hardly keep my blood from boiling. What saddens me more is that Hindus in India barely seem to realise that it is they who are under attack. This war is religious. The root cause is religion. It would be foolish to pretend otherwise. I have had enough of people running around like headless chickens, squawking tripe about secularism. This is a bloody war. Quite literally.
This is part of the global Jihad against the kafirs. If you don't believe in what Mohammed preached, you had better get yourself life insurance buddy.

It makes me sick every time I hear someone parrot "Don't tar the entire community with the same brush. All Muslims are not terrorists". And please do not - DO NOT - go around saying that Islam is misinterpreted. In the current atmosphere, that will get you a bloody nose.

How come no one "misinterprets" the Bhagavad Gita? Krishna practically exhorts Arjuna to take up arms and fight. How come there aren't a multitude of Hindu terrorist organizations "misinterpreting" Krishna's words? It's something that needs an answer.

Funnily, it took a US spokesperson to utter "that" word. CNN flashed a statement from a spokesperson for the US department of state - "We wouldn't be surprised if this were the work of Islamic terrorists". So it took a person half a world away to point this out. I bet all that we will hear from our spineless politicos is "appeals for calm" and "terrorism has no religion" (PUNCH!)

I am particularly amazed by how the US has thwarted every single attempt at a terror attack on its soil since 9/11. I attribute it to an extreme degree of paranoia, stemming from intense patriotism. It is this intense patriotism that is missing in India. In the US, crowds wave the national flag at election rallies. In India, you'd be lucky to see a person waving the national flag on Independence day. In the US, politicians end their speeches with "God bless America". In India, politicians coin slogans like "Tilak, taraju aur talwar, maro unko jhoote char" (beat up Brahmins, Vaishyas and Kshatriyas).

Another reason the US was successful in it's anti-terror efforts (at least on it's own soil) is the low percentage of Muslims in the US. Muslims form only 0.6-1% of the population of the US. This is hardly sufficient to form any votebank of sorts. In India, the 15% Muslim population end up screwing the rest of the nation. All the major political parties (including the BJP at times) spend all their effort into wooing this bloc. The assured 15% Muslim vote is better then the fragmented Hindu vote. Shrewd, but ultimately dangerous.

One thing I am unable to comprehend is how action against terrorists us supposed to "alienate the common Muslim". I mean, if I am to accept as a fact the tripe dished out to me about all Muslims not being terrorists, then why would the average Muslim get offended/affected/disadvantaged/victimised by action taken against terrorists?

It is time people woke up from their wet dreams of secularism. Secularist drooling has brought to us where we are today. It's time for us to kick out the invertebrates.

Methinks this is a job for Narendra Modi. No one else speaks so much sense as he does. No one else has the spine required. My only worry is that the man may be bumped off. For our sake, I sure as hell hope not.

UPDATE: The hostage situation continues. There is fighting on so many fronts that it is difficult to keep up with the incoherent news reports coming in. I only hope and pray that we can protect as many innocent lives as possible.

The folks at CNN-IBN want you to light a candle to protest against this attack. Sure. I'll light one and shove it up Rajdeep Sardesai's a**. Will that do?

UPDATE 2: Sandeep points out to us the games Rajdeep Sardesai has already started to play. Aside from asking burning questions like "Will the English team stay or leave?", he is also fantasizing about the prospect of this being a "Hindu" terror attack. I am lost for words.

What baffles the security agencies is the sacred thread tied on his wrist which many say could be a plot to show that the attack was undertaken by probably an extreme Hindu group.

But, the claim by a terror organisation with a Muslim name has left the above theory in question, say experts.

Rajdeep Sardesai, you have revealed your true colours in this hour of crisis. Nothing matters more to you than seeking out the possibility of this being a "Hindu" terror attack. I can almost sense disappointment in the last sentence. Shame on you.

PS:
1. Any silly "secular" comments will deleted. You can debate on Rediff.com message boards. Buzz off.

2. For more articulation and less rant, you might want to follow some of the blogs on the BlogWeb tab on the right.

Just for fun?

2008-11-24T11:20:00.006+05:30

Today I had my "OMG Orkut fortune is freaky!" moment. The odds are long, but everyone finds that once in a million years, Orkut's fortune matches with something you've actually experienced that day. (What's that? It happens more than once in a million years to you? Go get a life, loser!). Anyway, I had a discussion about "fun" and the purpose of life with a couple of people today. I login to orkut later in the day and I see this:

Surely I would have had it read

If you obey all the rules, you miss all the "fun". Others may want it to read

If you obey all the "rules", you miss all the fun.

And what about people who "make their own rules"?

Anyway, I'm going to blog about the "purpose of life" thingy soon. So run away when you can. I'm gonna kill all the joy("joy") in your life.
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Folks, I've diagnosed myself as suffering from a peculiar type of depression called Existential Depression. And it's apparently more common among "gifted individuals". The only gifts I ever received were a mobile phone, a watch, and a few books. Do I qualify?

Part of the reason could be that people tend to get all existential when they're down in the dumps. Not so much to do with any "gifts" as the lack of 'em. Not many people get existential when they're on a high. Which is sad. Because it's a wonderful question to ask.

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I came up with an aphorism during one of those purpose-of-life discussions - "There is no right or wrong; only meaningful and meaningless".

Not now

2008-11-16T03:19:00.002+05:30

You know what I really want to do? I mean really, really, really want to do?

I want to read up on existentialism. And Pascal's Wager. And a lot of related stuff.

I also want to read the Bhagavad Gita. It's too wondrous a book to be left lying unread.

Oh well. Some other time I guess.

Gutter journalism

2008-11-07T04:58:00.005+05:30

A post on the Shadow Warrior blog brought this to my notice. Apparently, TOI-let paper is back to it's gutter journalism tactics against Hindus. Apparently a Hindu "terrorist" has confessed.

Here's what TOI-let says:

I was Malegaon mastermind, admits Lt-Col

Lieutenant-Colonel Purohit, the first serving officer of the Indian Army to be arrested in connection with a terror bomb attack, has confessed to being the mastermind of the Malegaon blast. The 37-year-old officer reportedly told police he had mapped the conspiracy and provided the explosive for the September 29 'revenge' attack which killed six people.

Whatever happened to "allegedly"? That saviour of the Islamic terrorist!
And why "reportedly"? Aren't you supposed to be doing the reporting?

The next few paragraphs are pure filth. It would make any journalism student puke.

It is learnt that Purohit, who was arrested on November 5, admitted to supplying the deadly RDX and weapons to members of the Abhinav Bharat, a radical Hindu outfit. Sources said the Mumbai's Anti-Terrorism Squad was planning to question another serving army officer in this connection whose name cropped up during Purohit's interrogation. However, the confessional statement given to the police is not admissible in court.

Sources said Purohit was conclusively cornered after he was confronted with telephone records that showed his links with another accused, retired Major Ramesh Upadhyay. "I am the mastermind of the blast. I arranged for the RDX and weapons but I can't understand how the weapons reached Abhinav Bharat members," sources quoted Purohit as telling police. Abhinav Bharat is the Hindu extremist group which wanted to avenge the terror attacks by Islamist groups. Several members of the group had links with other saffron outfits.

While no anti-terrorism squad (ATS) officer was willing to comment on the reported confession, ATS spokesperson Dinesh Agrawala said for the record, "It's not correct."

Sources said? Sources quoted? It is learnt? From whom? How? How credible is your information? How can we believe you when you do not name the source, but rather publish a denial from the person closest to the investigation. Why do you think the "source's" information is believable and not that of the ATS spokesperson?

And how can you talk about a "confessional statement" when the ATS has denied it? Shouldn't it be "alleged confessional statement" if at all?

Gutter journalism. That's what it is. You know how the report would have looked like if the accused was a Muslim?

Suspect did not confess: ATS

Rubbishing all reports that the ATS has extracted a confession from terror suspect [insert common Muslim name here], ATS spokesperson Dinesh Agrawala issued a strongly-worded denial to end all speculation. "It's not correct", said Agrawala in a hurriedly convened press conference here.

The alleged terror suspect is allegedly accused of allegedly conspiring to blow up innocent people in [insert Indian city name]. He comes from a poor Muslim family. He was 10 at the time of the Babri masjid demolition. Social psychologists suggest that this incident might have left an indelible impression on the young boy. However his family says that the boy would never take up arms. "He is a very nice boy", said the suspect's father. His aged mother is bed-ridden from TB. The father has to support his 6 daughters now because his only son is in jail. He appealed to the authorities that his son is innocent.

However, the ATS shows no signs of relenting even though they have failed to produce any evidence to justify the continued imprisonment of the boy. Monday marks the second day that he spent in jail. Sources said that he was not being given proper food and was being subjected to the worst third-degree torture.

Ah! Secularism!

The Great Depression

2008-11-06T23:32:00.003+05:30

It's the end of the beginning.

But, is it the beginning of the end?

If it is, is there no middle?

Or does the middle span the end of the end of the beginning and the beginning of the beginning of the end?

You know, kinda like this:

Whoa! That's an infinite loop I'm getting into! There is no middle!

Anyway, it's nice, and maybe even important to feel like a loser once in a while. But when the time interval between two successive "once in a whiles" starts to reduce, we hit a frequency wall. It is possible to take only so many loser moments in a short time. Beyond that, it starts to get to you.

You start wondering what might have been. You start dwelling on the past. You start writing blog posts when you have 2 project status reports and an important presentation due after the weekend. You start to wonder. What if?

Federer survives soldering test

2008-10-31T03:42:00.002+05:30

Oops! Federer survives Soderling test

Web portal wins prestigious award

2008-10-24T09:39:00.008+05:30

Indian web portal rediff.com won the "Most secular web portal" award for the year 2008. In a dazzling display of its commitment to the cause of secularism, rediff withstood strong competition from favourite ibnlive.com. Reports suggest that ibnlive.com was leading until the night before the awards, when in a last-ditch attempt to arrest its sliding fortunes, rediff decided to put the following headline on its front page.

Malegaon blast: Hindu extremists picked up from Indore

It turned out to be a masterstroke. Rediff, which was earlier trailing because of it's affiliation with rabid Hindu communalists like Rajeev Srinivasan and T V R Shenoy, now had its nose ahead. By the morning of D-day, it was clear who had won. Ibnlive made a last-minute effort to reclaim the lead by running a similar story. But "Hindu groups behind Malegaon, Modasa blasts: Cops" quite obviously did not have the desired secular punch. "We shouldn't have added the 'cops' word. And we should have added 'fundamentalist' to our headline", said a visibly disappointed Rajdeep Sardesai.
Last year's winner NDTV, which too missed out narrowly, was gracious in defeat. "We carefully avoided adding 'Muslim' or 'Islamic' to any of our headlines. Even in the main news articles we used "certain fringe minority groups" wherever possible. "I instructed my journos to insert the line "Islam is a religion of peace" whenever possible . We did all we could, but I have to give it to rediff. They obviously did better. We will come back strongly next time.", said Barkha Dutt in her address to the august gathering.

Yeah.right

2008-10-21T21:41:00.005+05:30

The prime minister had predicted the financial crisis

Almost 18 months ago, when the world was blissfully unaware of an impending financial doom, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh had accurately predicted the global economic
crisis, claimed a senior official and confidant of the prime minister on Tuesday.

LOL. This is even worse than Al Gore claiming to have invented the internet. What next now? Shivraj Patil foresaw the spate of terrorist strikes?

Dear Mr.Prime Minister, assuming that you did indeed "predict" the global economic crisis, why is India currently struggling to push up its industrial output and maintain its accelerated growth rate of the past years? Why did we see no steps to forestall the impact of the "predicted" financial crisis?

PS: Hey I get it! You sold your Lehman Brothers stock didn't you...you sly old fox?

Here it comes....

2008-10-20T16:06:00.002+05:30

I thought I was being sarcastic when I said this.

Turns out, rabid Leftist Praful Bidwai has indeed gone to town proclaiming that Tata is communal.
Did Bidwai really keep a straight face through writing all that shit? I'm impressed.

Life's a bitch

2008-10-17T02:10:00.007+05:30

I'm taking this class called "Formal Verification of Hardware and Software Systems". For the course project, I set out planning to formally verify the RISC processor I had helped to design for my undergrad project. The processor design code was written in VHDL.

As it turned out, no formal verification tool in academia supported VHDL. They supported Verilog HDL however. While googling around, trying to find a VHDL-to-Verilog converter, I thought I found my answer -VHD2VL - a VHDL to Verilog RTL Translator (v2.0!) . I downloaded the file and opened the README for installation instructions. And whaddya know, here's what it said:

"Vhd2vl does a pretty good job of translating, but you should ALWAYS use a formal verification tool to compare the generated Verilog with the original VHDL!"

Sigh..if I had a formal verification tool that was VHDL-compatible, why would I have wanted to convert it to Verilog in the first place?

Of course, you could say that if I was going to formally verify the correctness of my VHDL code, I might as well verify the Verilog code. Problem is, VHDL2VL is suggesting that I should formally verify the correctness of the VHDL-to-Verilog conversion. For this, I think I will have to go with informal verification. ;)

Formal verification tools in industry do support VHDL. But this is academia and I'm stuck with Verilog-only software.

Life is a bitch!

UPDATE: Turns out there is an excellent translator available here. :)

Tata Nano goes communal

2008-09-23T01:28:00.002+05:30

In a real setback to secularism in India, Ratan Tata is considering relocating the Nano production facility from Singur in secular Bengal to Mundra in communal Gujarat (shudder!).

Secular Indians should protest this communal act by Ratan Tata.

The Great Indian Terrorism Tamasha

2008-09-18T07:43:00.022+05:30

The Congress throughout its stay in (and out of) power, indeed for most part of its existence in Independent India has been playing a dangerous game of minority (particularly Muslim) appeasement. From allowing Muslims their own "personal laws", to using taxpayer money to fund their private religious jaunts, to repealing an anti-terror legislation in the name of "secularism", the Congress is proving itself a worthy successor to the Muslim League.

Since 2004, India has been bled countless times by Islamist barbarians. Delhi, Mumbai, Varanasi, Malegaon, Jaipur, Hyderabad, Bangalore, Ahmedabad - attacks in market places, railway stations, moving trains, places of worship - car bombs, bombs on cycles, suicide bombings - you name it.

Hello dude, Man-moron, we're under attack.

Ah, it seems he's woken up. Not a happy realization I'm sure. Realization? I meant the realization that the Congress is gonna get whipped in Elections 2009. All that "secularism" (Read: No action against terrorists) was turning into a bit of an overdose, wasn't it? Now now, I'm sure you have another ace up your sleeve. Just make an anti-terror law. Viola! We're done.

[Vote for me when you grow up or I'll punch you in the nose]

Ms.Gandhi,I know you haven't got the brightest bunch of people working for you (Shivraj Patil and Man-moron Singh anyone?), but gee, even an average American liberal arts undergrad would have realized sooner that we need a comprehensive anti-terror mechanism, starting with a law.

[Damn you dead people! Why did you have to die in such large numbers? Why does it all have to be so gory? Look what you made me do! I'll have to make an anti-terror law now.]

Ah by the way, where is Shivraj Patil? The very name strikes terror into the hearts of the terrorists - that great anti-terror crusader, that relentless pursuer of terrorists, where art thou?

[Picture: Shadow Warrior]

It turns out, he's too busy changing into new clothes and preening before his mirror to notice the loud firecrackers that seem to explode every six weeks. (Which reminds me, I'm gonna start crossing out those weeks till the next attack. Then I can say "You read it here first!")

Nuisance, no? Mr.Patil? I know! It's those people's fault. Going to markets to shop is oh-so-passe. Home Shopping is the way to go. No bomb blasts see?

But whatever it is, please SHUT THE FUCK UP:

It is a cowardly act by those who don’t want us to live in peace. The people behind this act will be given stringent punishment according to the law,” he told reporters here.

“We have just overcome the difficulties (of the previous blasts) and these cowardly people have hit us again. But I would appeal to people to stay together and not create panic,” Patil added.
[Link source: Retributions]

Dude, seriously. Take my advice. When you're not gelling your hair or shining your shoes, get hold of a Barron's GRE book and mug up some new words, such as "pusillanimous" for "cowardly". I'm sick of you parroting the same tripe every time.

I haven't been able to follow the reactions of the Indian media, though one need not be a genius to guess. Barkha Dutt would have hosted a "We, the People" on "Is the Muslim community unfairly targeted?", with Javed Akhthar/Shabana Azmi boo-hooing about how they can't find a house in Mumbai , Jayanthi Natarajan spouting her usual nonsense, and the weakest spokesperson of the BJP, Prakash Javdekar trying hard to get some airtime (Notice how they never invite Arun Jaitley to these debates? I think the BJP is missing a trick here). Of course, we could also have a "Face the Nation" on bleedingly obvious questions like "Has India had enough?" or "Is it time for an anti-terror law like POTA?".

Coming to the BJP, I must say they are the only ones to have a consistently strong anti-terror stand - right from when they were in power, through when they were down in the dumps in 2004, to today. But I know what will appear in the media - "All politicians are the same", ..selfish","personal gains" etc. What gets my goat is how the media which tries to denigrate the BJP as often as possible("communal") on all possible issues, tries to paint all parties with the same brush when the Congress/Left is in a corner.
BJP calling for anti-terror law? "Communal!". BJP calling for a Parliamentary debate? "Politicizing!".

As Reality-check says, Terror needs to be politicized.

Get Ahead?

2008-08-27T02:27:00.007+05:30

Rediff screengrab

Get ahead? In what?

Janmashtami greetings!

2008-08-24T01:32:00.003+05:30

Yadhaa yadhaa hi Dharmasya Glaanir bhavathi Bhaaratha/
Abhyuthaanam Adharmasya Tad Aatmaanam srujaamyaham//

Whenever there is a decline in the natural order of the Universe, whenever there is a rise in evil beyond certain limits, I manifest myself”.

Paritranaaya Saadhoonaam Vinaasaaya cha Dushkritaam/
Dharma Samsthapanaarthaayaya Sambhavami yugE yugE//

To protect the virtuous, to destroy evil and to establish “Dharma’ I recreate myself in every Yuga”.

Please stick to cows

2008-08-21T18:50:00.007+05:30

In an astounding display of stupidity (astounding - even by his own usual standards), Amit Varma asks us to "replace the word ‘India’ with ‘the British empire’, and ‘Kashmir’ with ‘India’". He agrees with Swaminathan Aiyar that liberalism is enough reason to give up Kashmir. Viewed differently, it's plain laziness. "Mann, what a complicated issue! Just give the damn thing up" - kind of thinking. Now I understand what he means when he says he was a thoroughly undeserving winner of the Bastiat prize last year. I fully agree.

The analogy itself is horribly flawed because, for one,the Kashmir issue also involves a certain country called Pakistan. This complicates things (and raises the stakes) for India.

To quote from an excellent article by V Anantha Nageswaran on Nitin Pai's blog:

Therefore, to argue or even to suggest vaguely a case for Kashmir’s formal severance from India is to ignore the risk of further fragmentation or disintegration of India. Like what they say about fixed exchange rates: the time to let go is when you are able to ask if you need it, not when you are wondering if you can sustain it.
It is not Kashmir fatigue but a scared intelligentsia that now threatens to combine with petty self-interest and lack of perspective—one that fails to grasp the enormous significance of what is at stake here—from the political leadership in India that is suggesting new paradigms and independence for Kashmir. In that narrow sense, the perpetrators of recent terrorist incidents have succeeded.

"What!..Why!?"

2008-08-19T04:59:00.008+05:30

That's what people exclaim when I tell them I turned down an offer from IIM Lucknow. I'm not going to put on some false bravado and brag about how there's nothing great about IIM. In fact I think about the decision everyday. Whenever I login to my Orkut profile, I see my friends at IIM, some at Ahmedabad, others at Lucknow, still others at Calcutta. Deep down somewhere I think about how life would have been if I had just accepted the offer.

Think about it. I could have been in India. No worries about the American recession. At IIM I would have been among the best and brightest. No need to prove anything to anyone.

An assured megabucks job at the end of two years. Frequent meetings with family.

Life!

Here I am in New York, at Columbia University, pursuing my 'passion' - Computer architecture.

I don't call this regret. It's more of the 'missing family and friends' syndrome. I know (hope?) it will pass.

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, the providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.” -William Hutchinson Murray

“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

PS: Do you make or take a decision?

'literally gone through the roof'

2008-07-17T12:30:00.006+05:30

Today's Times of India has this photograph.
What are these people looking at? Any guesses?

Looking at the caption and using my analytical and logical skills, along with my knowledge of the English language, I can confidently assert that they are looking at something like this:

Pretty shocking. I agree. I'd have been shocked too. I mean, just look at those numbers pierce through that roof. Not for the faint-hearted. The government should really do something about these runaway cut-off percentages. Just look at 'em. It could be your house next.

Inflation

2008-07-11T09:35:00.008+05:30

I'm not much into economics. But I keep wondering about this phenomenon of inflation. Everyday, I read about how inflation is a "global phenomenon". I somehow don't get it. It can't be gloom everywhere. I mean, someone has to win right?

Here's my take on the issue.( Forgive the oversimplification. )

I think there are ideally two kinds of inflation -
1. caused by economic policies.
2. caused by natural forces.

1. Inflation due to economic policies/actions - In this type of inflation, someone wins and someone loses. This is because resources remain intact. For example, inflation due to hoarding. This kind of inflation cannot be "global" because there is always a winner. Is this the case with the current oil price spike?

2. Inflation due to natural/non-monetary causes - This is due to paucity of resources (natural resources/produced goods). Results from natural causes like drought, floods etc. This kind of inflation can actually be "global".

Of course, practically, inflation is always caused by a combination of the above two factors.
What I'm interested in knowing is :

1. How much of the current mess is due to bad economics, and was therefore avoidable?
2. Of how much help is economics in tackling the inflation of the second type?

UPDATE: Rediff article on inflation - Inflation? It's not oil prices or high wages

UDPATE 2: Ah I think what I mean to ask in my second question is "How can inflation caused by supply-side constraints be tackled by demand-side measures?". Another set of inflation data has just come in. And there's talk of the RBI increasing interest rates.

Inflation inched up to 11.91 per cent mainly due to higher prices of some food items and various petroleum products which may prompt the Reserve Bank of India to further tighten money supply in its quarterly review slated for July 29.

Forgive me for asking again, but how can tightening money supply address supply-side concerns?

PS: All economics-literate people reading this post - I'm just thinking aloud that's all. Don't issue a fatwa in my name. :P

Google Web Annihilator

2008-06-28T17:15:00.009+05:30

I got lured into downloading Google Web Accelerator today. I've never seen a worse Google product before.
Tall promises:

Google Web Accelerator is an application that uses the power of Google's global computer network to make web pages load faster. Google Web Accelerator is easy to use; all you have to do is download and install it, and from then on many web pages will automatically load faster than before.

Uh huh. I actually saved about 6.3 seconds in 10 minutes of work. Awesome eh? Trust me, it's definitely not worth the trouble.

The very basis of the GWA is too simplistic. It uses pre-fetching to speed up the loading of links on webpages. This, as I later learnt,means that it virtually clicks every link on a webpage when you are browsing through it. Clever eh? Now why didn't we think of that?

Jason Fried points out (link via O'Reilly Radar)

The accelerator scours a page and prefetches the content behind each link. This gives the illusion of pages loading faster (since they’ve already been pre-loaded behind the scenes). Here’s the problem: Google is essentially clicking every link on the page — including links like “delete this” or “cancel that.” And to make matters worse, Google ignores the Javascript confirmations. So, if you have a “Are you sure you want to delete this?” Javascript confirmation behind that “delete” link, Google ignores it and performs the action anyway.

Whoa! How dumb is that?

This flaw has caused headaches to web application builders and webmasters. They have no way of knowing whether the clicks coming to their apps/pages via a GWA source are genuine clicks or GWA clicks. So some webmasters decided "this won't do", and decided to block the accelerator. So, if you're unable to view a webpage while using the GWA, you know whom to blame.

PS: Google Web Accelerator screwed my Firefox bigtime. Interestingly, my IE7 performance did improve. Sadly, there's no way to command the accelerator to work only for a paticular browser. So if you love your Firefox, stay away from GWA.

I'm typing this post in IE7. Yes, you read right.IE7!
Hey!We all go through it, ok? Whoever said life was easy?

Quote of the day

2008-06-28T16:50:00.003+05:30

comes from Alok - "The happiest day of my life: when I learnt that Java does not endorse pointers"

I detest pointers too! Never understood 'em. Hope to someday. Maybe I will have to. But until then, I'm avoiding them like the plague. I know, I know - What kind of a programmer avoids pointers? That too in C++?

"Me! Me!" (jumping up and down with one hand in the air - You get the idea right?).

Driving Entrepreneurship

2008-06-27T10:05:00.006+05:30

I had an interesting chat with Raghav the other day. The discussion veered from the IIMs to Dilbert's Principle (and how it is plainly visible in Indian companies). But the most interesting part came when we started discussing startups and entrepreneurship.

Anyway, here are some excerpts. Edited a bit for clarity.(Please excuse the blatant gyaan-spouting. It was past 11 PM.)

me: yeah. very true.
How long before someone creates a google in that sector?
raghav: Management gurus and rules will tell me, it wont happen.
me: I think its also about what people want. I mean, if you go around (Company Name)asking the employees whether they'd do some creative work or continue with the same "safe" work, what'd be the results?
raghav: I'd think most of them don't even know they aren't doing creative work. They aren't all that bright.
me: lol.
raghav: HR is bright, they bring in such people - the ones who're good at their job.
but in their free time, boast about how their calculator is better than the next guy's and how their product is more open.
me: This is what will happen if all the "bright" persons go to management. All the brainy guys become managers and they spend their careers breaking their heads , trying to figure out how to extract the most from not-so-bright ones at the bottom.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

raghav: But how do you start a quality startup?
me: Make sure you have a great idea.
raghav: You can't always have a great idea can you? I mean, aren't some startups in areas with established players already in the business bigtime and you're jumping in for your share..
me: Make sure you're not starting-up just because you want to. I mean...lots of guys (from IIMs too) just startup because they want to become entrepreneurs. I mean its all very well to think like that..
raghav: ..like say, if I start a ISP tomorrow.It's nothing exclusive. It exists. But I'll still do well because demand is huge.
me:True. The only thing you'll be doing differently is that you're on your own. You're not actually doing anything different.
raghav: Yes. You're obeying demand supply.
me: Just doing the same thing by yourself. Is that any good?
raghav: I suppose it is, you can do well in it too. There is no big ISP in Mumbai other than MTNL. With the right marketing, I can burrow my way in bigtime. It's very very fragmented even today.
me: umm...You need bigtime infrastructure for an ISP.
raghav: Lets assume I have the money. Even a great idea needs a muse.
me:Maybe you could approach existing ISPs and offer to get them customers by some arrangement.
raghav:Yes, but notice how I've started an ISP with no great new idea. That's entrepreneurship too, right? You can't disown me just because I'm refusing to start a restaurant for dogs or something as extreme.
me: True. Very true. What I'm saying is that in India we have far too many of the "I'm doing the same thing. Only by myself" types. In the US we have a lot more of the "I know something different. Watch me do it" types. Their entrepreneurship is driven by research. Ours is driven by demand-supply. In the long run the US becomes the superpower.
raghav: Well said. I'm not so sure which is better. I'm hoping research. For, I'd rather do with a good product and decent marketing to become a billionaire. And then retire to become a professor. :)

PS: Reader comments/rants/sniggers solicited.

'Can we have our planet back?'

2008-06-18T17:19:00.002+05:30

Watched this awesome video on Atanu Dey's blog. Thought I'd share it with you.

For those with painfully slow internet connections or painfully low download limits, here's the transcript of the video. (Thanks to mental excrement. Via Ain't Christian)

(Posted after a little spell-checking)

I'd like to start this week with a request, and this one goes out to the followers of the three Abrahamic religions: the Muslims, Christians, and Jews. It's just a little thing, really, but do you think that when you've finished smashing up the world and blowing each other to bits and demanding special privileges while you do it, do you think that maybe the rest of us could sort of have our planet back? I wouldn't ask, but I'm starting to think that there must be something written in the special books that each of you so enjoy referring to that it's ok to behave like special, petulant, pugnacious, pricks. Forgive the alliteration, but your persistent, power-mad punch-ups are pissing me off. It's mainly the extremists obviously, but not exclusively. It's a lot of 'main-streamers' as well. Let me give you an example of what I'm talking about.

Muslims: listen up my bearded and veily friends! Calm down, ok? Stop blowing stuff up. Not everything that said about you is an attack on the prophet Mohammed and Allah that needs to end in the infidel being destroyed. Have a cup of tea, put on a Cat Stevens record, sit down and chill out. I mean seriously, what's wrong with a strongly-worded letter to The Times?

Christians: you and your churches don't get to be millionaires while other people have nothing at all. They're your bloody rules; either stick to them or abandon the faith. And stop persecuting and killing people you judge to be immoral. Oh, and stop pretending you're celibate -- it's a cover-up for being a gay or a nonce. Right, that's two ticked off.

Jews! I know you're god's 'Chosen People' and the rest of us are just whatever, but when Israel behaves like a violent, psychopathic bully and someone mentions it that doesn't make them antisemitic. And for the record, your troubled history is not a license to act with impunity now.

So, when the letters come (and I'm guessing they will), I can guarantee that each one of those faiths will be convinced that I've singled them out for special criticism.

[In mock Arabic accent] Why did it have to be us? Islam is a peaceful faith!

[In upper class British accent] I don't see what's wrong with being Christian? We're a peaceful, loving faith.

[In affronted, huffy voice] How dare you after all we've been through! We Jews know how terrible violence can be.

You see, all of them will be convinced that they're the ones being picked on. The Abrahamic faiths are like scousers: they're always convinced they [in scouser accent} have it harder than everyone else.

And why is it that all of these faiths claim to be peaceful, when even a most fleeting glance at a history of warfare will tell you otherwise? The relationship between religion and warfare is very similar to the relationship between Ant and Deck: you could have one without the other, but I'm not sure anyone would see the point. I wouldn't actually like it, but it would be refreshing to hear one of them come out and say [in working class London accent] "Our faith's violent as you like. We love a scrap, us lot, we do. Our special book says 'fight fight smash maim murder kill fight fight.' That's why I signed up to be honest. I'm a bit naught, know what I mean?" But yet all of them claim to be peaceful religions. Yeah, peaceful right up to the point where someone takes something they think is theirs, or says the wrong thing or looks at them funny. Then it's fighty smashy kicky punchy all the way. I know this'll upset a lot of people and frankly I don't care. I'm getting so sick of religious people screwing it up for the rest of us.

Please don't kill us, seriously. As far as I'm concerned this is the only chance we get. When we die it's all over -- there's no virgins and pearly gates waiting for us, no big, beardy man saying [in deep, echoing voice and upper class accent] "Right, so how do you think that went, then? Killed a lot of people in my name I see. Not really what I had in mind. Um, tell you what, have another go as a worm."

While we're at it, I'm sick of religious people forcing their children to define themselves by their parents' faith. A four-year-old is no more a Christian than he is a member of the Postal Workers' union. [in child's voice] "We want a fair working wage, decent working conditions, and time allotted to see the new Transformers film."

This week Lydia Playfoot, who took Millay School in Horsham to the high court so she could wear jewelry to prove she's staying a virgin for Jesus, lost her case. Good. I'm glad. I don't care how many times her parents claim it was her idea, rules is rules, and if you want to wear a ring that tells everyone you're not having any sex you can get married like the rest of us. Now, the lawyer for the chaste Miss Playfoot said the question for the judge was 'What are the religious rights of school children in the school context?' Well, I'm no judge (not yet, anyway), but if you want my opinion, none. No rights. No religious rights whatsoever. Schools are for learning. If you want to have a little pray before maths so that Mr. Figures won't set too hard a test, or prevent the P.E. teacher from being a colossal pervert, then go head, fill your boots. If you want to pop on a feathered headdress and chant and dance and mumble and sacrifice something you can do that on your own time. (Or take a drama course, pretend it's art, and get a degree in it. That's what I did.) The lawyer, Mr. Diamond, argued "secular authorities cannot rule on religious truth." Hmm. Well, Mr. Diamond, I'm going to assume you're not related to Neil Diamond, because he rocks. Yes, I like Neil Diamond. And Prince. And I'm married -- go figure. But the point is "religious truth" is a foxy one, because religion, by it's very nature, doesn't tend to concern itself with truth. There simply isn't time for truth. By the time all the singing and candle-lighting and toadying and condemning and hiding from science is done truth has given up and gone down to the pub for a pint. Here's the truth: faith is about as interested in truth as I am in hangning out with Anthony Warrel Thompson, i.e, not very.

Now, I know that most religious folk are moderate and reasonable and wear tidy jumpers and eat cheese, like real people. And on hearing this they'll mainly feel pity for me, rather than issue a death sentence. But they have to accept that they are the power base for the nutters. Without their passive support the loonies in charge of these faiths would just be loonies, safely locked away and medicated -- somewhere nice with a view of some trees where they can claim they have a direct channel to god between sessions making tapestry coasters, watching Teletubbies and talking about their days in the Hitler Youth. The ordinary faithful make these vicious, tyrannical thugs what they are. See, I get angry that show like Celebrity and Big Brother and insert-title-of-wretched-show-here still fill our lives with vapid, pointless emptiness, and I wish the producers' development executives would crawl back under the rocks they emerged from, but the truth is they sell stuff that people consume. Without the audience to prop it up, Heat magazine and fundamental religious fanaticism goes away. Imagine what humanity might be capable of if we had that much spare time! We could explore space properly, have decent look in the sea, find a cure for James Blunt, anything!

Thank you very much. Letters to the usual address.

'When doubts haunt me...'

2008-06-18T17:03:00.002+05:30

"In the morning I bathe my intellect in the stupendous and cosmogonal philosophy of the Bhagavad Gita, in comparison with which our modern world and its literature seem puny and trivial."

- Henry David Thoreau

"I owed a magnificent day to the Bhagavad Gita. It was the first of books; it was as if an empire spoke to us, nothing small or unworthy, but large, serene, consistent, the voice of an old intelligence which in another age and climate had pondered and thus disposed of the same questions which exercise us."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"When doubts haunt me, when disappointments stare me in the face, and I see not one ray of hope on the horizon, I turn to the Bhagavad Gita and find a verse to comfort me; and I immediately begin to smile in the midst of overwhelming sorrow. Those who meditate on the Gita will derive fresh joy and new meanings from it everyday."

- Mahatma Gandhi

"When I read the Bhagavad Gita and reflect about how God created this universe everything else seems so superfluous."

- Albert Einstein

Universities: Centres for education or social reform?

2008-06-03T22:22:00.007+05:30

In one of my previous posts, I opined that universities should not be used as tools for social reform. The government has failed in its duty to provide quality primary education for all. By reserving seats for the (supposedly) socially and educationally backward in institutes of higher education, the government chooses the easy way out of the problem.

The Economic Times carries an interview with Christopher Francis Patten where he speaks on education. Some relevant excerpts:

Is it justifiable to view higher education as the vehicle for promoting social cohesion?

Universities should not be used as agents of social change by the state. Higher education can lead to greater social inclusion but this cannot be at the expense of quality.
...
If education institutions are to be used as agents for ensuring social inclusion,
then the place to do that is at the primary and secondary level.
...
Universities should not be used as social agents of the state, after all these institutions are accountable for public funds.

Are YOU an IIM aspirant yet?

2008-05-24T18:21:00.006+05:30

Aiming for an IIM - the 'in' thing. The latest fad. The current fashion statement.

Skills be damned. Interests be damned. Strengths be damned.
Hell! Career goals be damned.

These days, everybody who is anybody "wants to pursue a management degree from one of the IIMs". Of course, the nationwide ICSE top ranker isn't just "anybody". Yet, class 10 is just a bit too early to start thinking of an IIM, don't you think? There's a very good chance that the girl hasn't the slightest idea of what management is. In all likelihood, she has been influenced by media coverage of the IIMs - more specifically, their placement figures. Of course, it's very tough not to get brainwashed by those mind-boggling salary figures.

Now don't get me wrong here. I'm not against her pursuing a management career. It's just that she probably hasn't the slightest clue of what management is. That's not the way you chart your future course of action.

But hey! Who cares about career goals anymore? As long as you get people around you to swoon over the fact that you're from an IIM. As long as you're in line to get those awesome pay packages.

You go girl!

Rejoice, ye cricket fans!

2008-05-23T10:40:00.002+05:30

Sunny, Ravi quit ESPN.

God exists!

Are you "literally" literate?

2008-05-21T09:43:00.008+05:30

This has been a pet peeve of mine for quite some time now. The way people misuse the word "literally". It sucks (figuratively though).

I first came across it (or rather it was pointed out) in the book "Yes Minister " in which the editor points out the amusing line "I was literally torn" when the protagonist was faced with a dilemma. Since then, I have kept my ears pricked up for it being misused. Some usages lead to delightfully amusing interpretations.

Sample this: "Mannn..the viva was bad. I got literally screwed."
Congratulations. You're not a virgin anymore. Literally.

Dude, literally isn't supposed to be used to add emphasis. Repeat after me - "Literally" is not an intensifier..."Literally" is not an .....

Another one: "It's literally pouring out here man!"
It is? Time for you to pore over your dictionary if you ask me.

One more: "He was literally fuming"
Dunno about him, but any more misuse and I will be. Figuratively though.

After careful research, I have come to realise that there can be two types of "illiteracy":

1. Use of literally when you actually mean figuratively. The word is wrongly used as an intensifier. This is the most common mistake.

2. Use of literally when the figurative sense itself does not exist.

For example, "I ran so much that I was literally panting".
Ummmm.. is there something called "figuratively panting"?

The web has a great collection of articles/rants against this practice. Check these out.
1. This blog is dedicated to chronicling the misuse of "literally". It's got some pretty hilarious entries.
According to them, there are two types of errors:

Incorrect: Incorrect usage of “literally”. For example, “I literally dropped dead when I heard the news”.
Unnecessary: Using “literally” when it is not needed. For example, “I literally lost hundreds of dollars in Vegas”.

(This matches with my classification. Wow. I must be darn good.)

2. Another article.

3. A video (Caution: Make sure you have a strong chair. Or sofa. Or whatever it is that you rest your butt on while using the PC. And hold on to it. Because this video is so friggin' funny that you might fall off. )

4. A cartoon

(click image to enlarge)

Now this cartoon took the words right out of my mouth. Figuratively!

Kim Ascaryam?

2008-05-15T02:42:00.003+05:30

Yama: 'What is the greatest wonder in the world?'

Yudhishtra: 'Every day men see creatures depart to their abodes and yet, those who remain seek to live forever. This verily is the greatest wonder.'

From an article in the Hindu

It is not as if human beings are unaware of the limitations of worldly life. Problems, suffering, old age and death are facts of life which stare us in the face everyday if we look around us. But it suits us not to face the reality with the misconception that they will not afflict us. This paradox has been pointed out in the famous Yakshaprasna section of the Mahabharata when Yudhishtra was asked the question, "What is the greatest wonder in the world?'' to which he replied that man entertained the misconception that he was immortal even though he confronted death all the time. Spiritual life is thus the preparation man engages in throughout his worldly life to realise God so that he is not caught unawares when it is time to leave the world.

PS: The label for the previous post is "Life". Maybe that teaches me something.

You're gone. Just as you were starting off...

2008-05-15T02:24:00.005+05:30

Daidipya. You never told me you were leaving. I'd have wanted to say goodbye you know.

You're gone at too early an age. 22 is no age to go.
Come back DP.
I want to pull your leg.
I want to laugh with you.
I want to eat your delicious chapaati-bhaaji.
I want to see you save those penalty kicks.

You weren't meant to go this way.

I hate motorbikes.

Mediocrity

2008-05-13T13:31:00.000+05:30

sucks

Reservations

2008-04-18T20:37:00.007+05:30

Actually I wanted to title the post as "Reservations about reservations".
But later I remembered the cardinal rule of journalism that I read somewhere: "If you come up with a crappy pun, there's a 99% chance that the Times Of India has already used it."

(The 1% is for Mumbai Mirror methinks).

(Do I have to bash the Times all the time? Well, NO actually. Times has just launched in Chennai and I'm hoping it beats the living daylights out of the Communist rag The Hindu. Go Times go!
- I never thought I'd ever say that)

But I digress!

The Supreme Court, in its infinite wisdom has judged The Central Educational Institutions (Reservation in Admission) Act, 2006, to be within the provisions of the Constitution. Apparently, it had managed a delicate balancing act by excluding the creamy layer from the benefit net. Also, some interpretations of the verdict said that post-graduate institutions were to be left untouched by the quota.

In view of the verdict, the Indian institutes of Management decided to defer the release of the admission lists. Now, quota or not, the absolute number of seats under the General category is staying same. So, apart from a sadistic pleasure in keeping general category students on tenterhooks, I fail to see a reason for them to defer the admissions for the general category.

I present the following (somewhat simplistic) arguments against reservations in institutes of excellence:

1. What is the Central Government's mission for the IITs/IIMs/NITs ? Are they institutes of excellence, meant to produce world-class professionals and original research OR are they tools of social reform? By introducing reservations in these institutions,the government is taking the easy way out of the problem. The long-term solution is to reform the primary education system. Someone in the government is trying to take Occam's razor too far (All other things being equal, the simplest solution is the best - It's not always true you know).

2. Even assuming that social reform is part of the objective of these institutes, I object to the way reservation is being implemented. Defining backwardness solely by family name is astoundingly brainless. The exclusion of the creamy layer will ensure that only the really deserving are benefited (and the undeserving kept out). However, with politicians lining up to ensure "redefinition" of the creamy layer, I'm not very hopeful of this happening.

UPDATE: Related post

Pointless

2008-04-18T20:24:00.005+05:30

Haven't blogged in a long time. (yeah, like "duh!"). What was the need to say that? It's obvious isn't it? The last time I blogged was on March 10, 2008. So it's pretty obvious that I haven't blogged in a long time. There was no need to say that explicitly.

Whoa! Some pointless ramble that was! See what happens if I write whatever comes to my mind? I'll probably end up rambling on and on without actually conveying anything (as if I actually do otherwise!). But still, when I.........(oh, see what I mean?)

PS: I found a phrase to describe what I do everyday: Sleepwalking through life.

Is that what they mean by saying that life is one big dream?

Well, actually it doesn't apply here because sleepwalking and dreaming are two different things. You see, sleepwa- ......Oh never mind!

A tale of two cities (and media hypocrisy)

2008-03-10T20:42:00.010+05:30

Incident 1:
Vadodara.
May 9, 2007.

Suspected Hindu right-wingers attack an internal exhibition of paintings at MS University. Artist Chandramohan arrested.

Reaction: The Left-liberal media begins to froth at its mouth. Protests happen all over the place (or at least we are made to believe so by the media). The incident is given wide coverage in all newspapers. Talk shows debate the issue endlessly. SMS Surveys, phone-in shows, internet polls, editorials and Sunday columnists ("intellectuals") condemn the incident. Phrases such as "Hindu fundamentalists", "Hindutva fascists" and "Saffron brigade" are bandied about to describe the attackers. The attack is an attack on cultural freedom say some. Some say it's moral policing.

The media really gave it to those "fascists", didn't they? Wham! Bham! Pow! Left, right and center. They even got the artist released from jail and promptly got his perspective on the brouhaha (we cover all aspects of the issue you see).

Incident 2:
Chennai.
March 7,2008

Police storm into and shut down an art show at the prestigious Lalit Kala Akademi (LKA) where an exhibition on Mughal emperor Aurangzeb was organized by Foundation Against Continuing Terrorism (FACT). The exhibition was titled 'Aurangzeb as he was according to Mughal records'. It was curated by renowned French journalist Francois Gautier.

According to Kanchan Gupta in the Pioneer (the only newspaper to have covered the issue in full),

French journalist Francois Gautier's Foundation Against Continuing Terrorism (FACT) has painstakingly -- and at great expense -- put together a collection of 40 miniatures and firmans that tell the story of Aurangzeb's rule. The exhibition is called Aurangzeb as he was according to Mughal records. "We have taken care to present all facets of Aurangzeb, including his piety," says Gautier.

The article continues

The collection was first exhibited to critical acclaim at the Habitat Centre in New Delhi. It next travelled to Pune where one lakh people visited the show. It was equally well received in Bangalore where the popular Gallery G hosted the exhibition. FACT then decided to take the collection to Chennai where it was supposed to be exhibited at the Lalit Kala Akademi from March 3 to 9.

What strikes me is that an event of such great magnitude was given negligible coverage in the media.

The article continues

On March 5, a group of 15 Muslims (Gautier says "they were no more than six") affiliated to the Tamil Nadu Muslim Munnetra Kazhagam, Manitha Neethi Paasarai and other Muslim organisations, entered the exhibition hall and confronted FACT volunteers who were present there. Raising their voice, they rubbished the show and alleged that it did not portray the right image of 'their' Aurangzeb.

"They threatened they wouldn't allow the show to go on, that they would send hundreds of protesters after Friday prayers from a nearby mosque," says Gautier. The organisers lodged a complaint with the local police station and the next day policemen were posted at Lalit Kala Akademi.

On March 6, Prince of Arcot Nawab Mohammed Abdul Ali made a surprise visit to the exhibition at 3 pm. After spending some time looking at the miniatures and the firmans, he lashed out at FACT volunteers and accused them of "misrepresenting facts". He was particularly enraged by two miniatures -- the first depicted Aurangzeb's army destroying the Somnath temple and the second showed the destruction of the Kesava Rai temple in Mathura.

He insisted that the paintings amounted to "fabrication and distortion of history" and that Aurangzeb had never done anything to harm the Hindus. He demanded that the exhibition be immediately shut down and said he would take up the issue with "higher authorities" in the State Government. Later, the 'Prince of Arcot' issued a Press statement, claiming, "the exhibition seemed to dwell only on Aurangazeb's alleged misdeeds and not a word about his munificent contribution. The exhibition would only promote enmity between various groups."

Now, why some Muslims have a soft corner for Aurangzeb is beyond me.

Reaction: The incident, chronicled in such detail by The Pioneer, received scant coverage in the rest of the media. No panting "intellectuals" lining-up to comment on camera. No Sunday columns sermonizing on free speech.(Helloo Shobaa De, Shashi Tharoor, Anil Dharker...anybody home?), no editorials, no SMS polls, no campaigns against fascism. No anything. Just stony silence. The newspapers that did cover the incident carefully hid the Muslim element.

TOI says

There were protests from certain quarters against the exhibition

How clever. Certain quarters. Who wants to get into trouble by taking names eh?

And the headline in the Economic Times - Chennai turns back on Aurangzeb
Really? The whole of Chennai? Not Islamic fundamentalists? Not Muslim fascists? Not even as Kanchan Gupta says, just 15 Muslims and a bogus nawab? Amazing lack of spine, I must say.

PS: The last few lines of Kanchan Gupta's article :

The police also forcibly took into custody three FACT volunteers -- Saraswathi (65), D Vijayalakshmi (62) and Malathi (47) -- although women cannot be detained after sunset in police stations. They were not allowed to contact their families.

A day before Women's Day. How ironic! Again, no breathless feminists to fulminate against the police.

What a vast difference in the media treatment of the two incidents! That's the "secularism" of the Indian media for you.

Dear Harsha Bhogle

2008-03-10T00:33:00.004+05:30

Dear Harsha Bhogle,

I've been a big fan of yours for a long time now. I love your commentary because of its unique intellectual flavour - quite unlike what we get from cricketer-turned-commentators. You are well-read, witty and humble. You create excitement without getting hysterical like Tony Greig, without pulling verbal stunts like Navjot Sidhu. You bring a mix of intelligence and knowledge of the game demonstrated not only by your commentary, but also your ability to engage fellow commentators in meaningful conversation. I admire the way you masterfully handle people like Sunil Gavaskar, whose jingoism sometimes borders on the juvenile.
In all, one word - RESPECT.

But, of late, I've noticed two things. One - you seem to be doing too much of the same things - pre-match blah blah , mid-match timepass and end-of-match chit-chat with Ravi Shastri, Wasim Akram and people of their ilk. Not to mention participating in useless Super Selector competitions to please the channel bosses, mouthing the same superfast "Nowthat'sasgoodashotasyou'lleversee" and ribbing that clown Gautam Bimani. Don't you feel it's all getting too repetitive? The same thing day-in and day-out. Shouldn't a person as talented as you be doing something more meaningful?

People might say you've found your inner receptionist. You're probably really happy doing the same things forever. But I think there is a fair probability that you aren't. Intelligent and talented people are generally restless. They don't want to do too much of the same things. What's the challenge in doing something that has become a routine? So, yeah. Here's some advice from a person who himself doesn't know where he is going. (But hey..it doesn't matter whom the advice comes from, does it?) Re-invent yourself. Do something different. Start a company. You'll rock at it, I'm sure.

Second. The slow death of meritocracy at ESPN-Star. Especially when it comes to Ravi Shastri. ESPN-Star seems to have a huge blind spot as far as he is concerned. You seem to have submitted meekly to his celebrity halo. Come on, the guy can't analyse cricket to save his life! He can't utter a single sentence without slipping in an awful cliche. He's got an abysmal knowledge of the technical issues of the game. All he does is mouth inane banalities and truisms. Do something Harsha! I can't stand the guy!

Warm regards and lots of respect,

Srikanth

PS: I didn't address you as "Sir". Is that OK?

PPS: If you read this letter, will you leave a comment?

Must-haves for Firefox!

2008-02-28T21:32:00.003+05:30

I've been using two super add-ons for Firefox - Adblock Plus and Flashblock.

Their names are self-explanatory. So if you haven't been using them , I'd suggest you google, download and install !

Adblock Plus is especially useful. You can block specific ads on a one-time basis or create generic filters to block domains like ad.doubleclick.net and ads.rediff.com by filtering http://ad.doubleclick.net/* and http://ads.rediff.com/*

PS: Adblock Plus allowed me to block Rediff message boards. Just block http://mboard.rediff.com/*

It's heaven now, I tell you.

IMS Quotient Sucks

2008-02-22T10:36:00.003+05:30

Last year, IMS Quotient (IQ) was a Bollywood/Hollywood trivia quiz.
I thought this year might be different. I lost hope when I saw the same quizmaster Charanpreet Singh (IIT Kharagpur alumnus as we were being reminded so often). For some reason he seems to be a pop/rock band/Hollywood/Bollywood freak.

The elims were quite good, with an eclectic bunch of questions. Some were quite easy. Others were tough nuts. We came second. The main round was a let down though. Most questions were from the rock/pop/Hollywood/Bollywood questions. Weird videos, weirder audio clips - you name it. But on a rare sports question, we correctly identified Prabodh Tirkey (the IITians couldn't..snigger snigger). But they creamed the music/cinema questions.

After the quiz I asked Charanpreet Singh why there was such an overdose of music and cinema. He said it just seemed so because they were mostly audio/video questions.

Bullshit I say.
Rename the quiz as IMS Cinema Quotient.

Look who's talking

2008-02-22T10:15:00.009+05:30

I saw a pig fly today. I also heard that it was freezing in hell yesterday.

Here's why.TOI says

The media wields considerable clout with both issue managers and retail investors, which is why it is a critical player. It is remarkable how it has escaped scrutiny for lapses in stock market coverage. It is high time a body of media professionals teamed up with SEBI to draw up a set of guidelines on the ethics of reporting on the market.

Heh! Someone is actually speaking of media ethics here.
The same could apply to reporting on other issues as well. Applied to general news coverage, what would the above statement look like? Lets see

The media wields considerable clout with both the snooty rich and the middle class which is why it is a critical player. It is remarkable how it has escaped scrutiny for lapses in general news coverage. It is high time a body of media professionals teamed up with the Govenrment of India to draw up a set of guidelines on the ethics of reporting on sensitive issues like the Gujarat election.

Another line about TV panelists:

Since their views can, and do, influence market behaviour, their advice should be free of any conflict of interest.

Talk about thieves preaching against theft!

PS: I used to like the Times of India very much until it started dumbing down. It's a pity that the paper has degenerated into an advertisement paper which carries news only if there is space left.

Happiness

2008-02-15T08:52:00.003+05:30

Rashmi Bansal blogs about an article by Lucy Kellaway in the Financial Times. The article is full of insights. Especially this

I was simply trying to do what I thought was expected of me, and what my friends were doing. My motivation was to do it better than a tiny handful of people I considered to be my rivals.

Wow. Incredible. It's exactly how I think.
Amogh (and many others) will empathise, I'm sure.

PS: That FT link requires registration. What an outdated practice!
Here's the article on Rediff.

Mislead India

2008-02-10T22:11:00.002+05:30

I was amused when the Times Group launched the Lead India campaign. It would have been serious if it hadn't been so funny.

TOI says:

We began a hunt to identify new leaders for a new India, men and women with the vision and ability to empower India with the kind of political leadership that is so conspicuous by its absence.

One look at their "ambassadors" is enough to expose the "initiative".

Amitabh Bachchan, Shahrukh Khan, Abhishek Bachchan, Javed Akhtar, Sunil Mittal and shiver me timbers, Priyanka Chopra! Huh? Some kind of a joke? FIVE persons from the film industry? These are your ambassadors? For an initiative that purports to "provide a platform to the good men and women out there who refuse to be daunted by the system, and struggle against massive odds to make life better for their fellow Indians."?

"Wrong choices" is the politest I can be.

Bah! I was skeptical from day one, and the end of the campaign hasn't convinced me one bit. I'd rather that Times stick to improving ITSELF, rather than trying to save the country.

If everyone did THEIR jobs well, the country would automatically progress. TOI has a better chance of "reforming" the country by practising ethical journalism, and not fooling it's readers by pimping news and editorial space to corporates in exchange for equity.

Here's what TOI can do:

1. Start being honest and ethical. Stop selling editorial space. A good, honest Fourth Estate is important for a nation that (in TOI's own words) "takes giant strides towards fulfilling its undoubted potential".
2. Build an organization with a soul. Let profit not be your sole aim. Too idealistic? I'd suggest this book.
3. Stop worrying about the sexual habits of the world. Stop worrying about sex in general. Indians are doing fine (pun unintended). Cover REAL news. You cover local (and to some extent, national) news well.
4. Stop being a soft-porn newspaper. You've got your market research all wrong. No one reads TOI for porn. Real aficionados know where to look.
5. Actively promote 'other' sports. Cricket isn't the only game in India. Cover football, hockey, tennis and other sports. And no, EPL doesn't qualify. Neither does Sania Mirza.
6. Stop making national issues out of personal lives of celebrities (again, created by you). In fact, stop covering Bollywood and Hollywood. Scrap Bombay Times.

Surely I'm kidding you say? Well, as the joke goes, YOU started it.

Duh!

2008-02-08T20:03:00.000+05:30

A gem from Rediff Love Guru:
'She rejected me because I'm a transsexual'

Did he(it?) expect her to go,"Oh, you're a transsexual? That's perfectly fine with me."

WTF? Seriously WTF?

PS: The link has no story or "complaint" to match the headline. How disappointing!

Hey Ram vs. Haraam

2008-01-29T21:59:00.000+05:30

Gandhi's last words not 'Hey Ram': Book

I read here that his last utterance was "Haraam.." and not "Hey Ram". You know, that sounds mighty appealing.

Joke of the day

2008-01-28T22:15:00.001+05:30

Sania becomes Asia's top ranked player

ROTFL.

Speaks volumes about the competition in women's tennis. There's hardly any strong competition outside the top 20. And women want to be treated at par men.
Let's see:

1.Women play three sets; Men play five sets (Unless you're Roger Federer). This is the most important argument. One could argue that most women players have endurance levels lower than that of men, and hence argue that both sexes use same proportion of their body resources in a tennis match. Fair enough I think. But will feminists accept the "lower-endurance" argument?

2.Quality of the tennis -I'd watch Federer vs. Nadal over Sharapova vs. Venus any day. It's the sheer gulf in quality. The women's first serves are slower than most men's second serves. Makes for better(more challenging and watchable) tennis.
But ah, speaking of watchable.

Ravishing!

Farce at Sydney

2008-01-07T18:10:00.001+05:30

I was deeply disappointed on Sunday afternoon. By evening, I was seething. Harbhajan's ban was the last straw. I tried to talk myself out of it - "It's only a stupid game after all", "I'm not getting a penny out of all this" - why should I seethe? The real reason, I realized, was not the fact that the Indian team lost (I'm inured to that) - I didn't feel anything when India lost at the MCG - it was the blatant injustice that made my blood boil.

Small voice in my head: There is so much injustice in this world, and we're feeling sorry for this bunch of over-paid and under-performing losers?

Well, that's a valid point, but the sense of outrage is magnified by the TV coverage - the drama played out right in front of us. Clarke, Ponting, Symonds, Gilchrist and Hussey violated the Spirit of the Game (euphemism for cheating) and deprived India of it's best chance of a win. What played out at the SCG was a shameful exhibition of desperate and vulgar "win-at-all-costs" cricket.

Coming to the shoddy umpiring and cheating, I actually have nothing more to add to the vitriol being spewed at the Aussies - it would be pointless for me to delve into those issues when so much is already being said.

Calling off the tour, though seemingly correct, would have long-term repercussions. I think we could go for some "Gandhigiri" by the players during the next test at Perth - playing with black bands, for example. Of course, if the ICC decides not to replace Bucknor and Benson at Perth, it would be too much to expect India to continue with the tour. It was clear that they had an agenda. And pursue it they did!

I think the best way to reply to the Aussies would be to win the next two tests. I can think of no better way to deflate their swollen egos. Kumble should lift his team to channel all their "righteous anger" towards a superlative performance in the next two matches. A 2-2 scoreline, improbable and laughable as it sounds, will be a fitting riposte.

PS: G Rajaraman, the journo who got under Ponting's skin during the post-match press conference. Way to go!

PPS: Balaji and Amogh with their takes.

UPDATE: Tour suspended. I suspect this is only a pressure tactic by the BCCI. They'll never call off the tour for this. They love their rupees!

MBA : When?

2008-01-03T19:31:00.000+05:30

I don't claim to be an expert on career issues. On the contrary, I'm as confused as can be.
But still, here's my take.
What are the career options for an engineering student?

1. MBA in India :

Perhaps the most popular (and safest - guaranteed "good life" if you graduate from one of the top 10 B-schools).
Typically,a student aims to enter the MBA course immediately after graduation and hence takes his entrance examinations in his fourth year. (I say "typically" because the American culture of going for an MBA after a few years of work experience has not yet caught on - most Indians who do end up doing the MBA after few years of working, do it out of compulsion, not choice.)

Interestingly, all the people I've spoken with recommend the MBA only after 2-3 years of industry experience. One of them, an MBA from XLRI (and currently an entrepreneur) did his MBA straight after graduating from BITS,Pilani. He said,"Looking back, I think I should have done the MBA after working for 2 years. It would have helped me appreciate the degree better".
Another person (NIT, Trichy + IIM-C) said,"If you get an IIM seat, grab it by all means. But if you don't, take it as a blessing in disguise".

In spite of this, one question that has always vexed me is
'If the widespread consensus is that an MBA benefits a working professional more than it does a fresher, why do the IIMs continue to admit fresh graduates?'

The IIMs must be having some rationale behind admitting freshers in large numbers (around half of the total student enrollment).

Any answers? Or theories?

Related: A previous post of mine (written in a different mood perhaps)

General election in 2008: Chidambaram

2008-01-02T10:30:00.000+05:30

Well...he didn't exactly say that. But we can guess. :)

Chidambaram hints at a 'moderation' in tax rates

Assassinate Modi : Karan Thapar

2007-12-30T18:36:00.000+05:30

Karan Thapar says that Modi should be assassinated.

Only the sudden removal of Narendra Modi can stop this. For he is the agent forcing this change.

He makes his intentions clearer in the next line.

And whilst he’s with us, he will do just that.

Pray, how else do you interpret those lines?

His natural game

2007-12-30T00:41:00.001+05:30

Relax and play your natural game, Kumble to Dravid

Rahul Dravid
5 off 66
16 off 114

What makes you think he isn't?

Benazir Bhutto

2007-12-29T23:56:00.000+05:30

Benazir Bhutto. What a tragic way to die! Truly Pakistan is a country of Islamic lunatics.

But what's with all the exaggerated obituaries and tributes (panegyrics more like)to her in the Indian MSM? A reading of some sensible voices in the blogosphere tells me that Bhutto was no saint.

As K says in presstalk

Yes, it is sad that she was killed and I would like to pass on my condolences to her family. Nobody should die in such an awful, brutal and violent manner, but what is that saying about 'You reap what you sow'?

Mumbai suburban train commuters - worse off than rats

2007-12-28T23:56:00.000+05:30

In an article in Newsweek on revamping hajj pilgrim flows and improving crowd management, I came across an interesting assertion.

Generally, three to four people can fit into one square meter; in Mecca, 10 fit in that space. "You don't find these levels of density among humans anywhere else—only among rats," says Habib Zein Al-Abideen, the Saudi deputy minister of Municipal and Rural Affairs and head of the kingdom's hajj-related construction. Under such conditions, pilgrims are exposed to pressure equivalent to more than a ton—similar to the weight of a small car.

I immediately thought of the "people-per-square-meter" number for Mumbai's suburban locals during peak hours. I dismissed the thought that the number could be higher. It could be 6-7 at most I comforted myself. And whaddya know, it turns out to be more than double that number.

Due to its extensive reach across the Mumbai Metropolitan Region, and its intensive use by the local urban population, overcrowding has grown to be a compelling problem (4,700 passengers are packed into a 9-car rake during peak hours, as against the rated carrying capacity of 1,700). This has resulted in what is known as Super-Dense Crush Load of 14 to 16 standing passengers per square metre of floor space. Trains on the suburban line are on average more than 4 minutes apart, contributing to the problem of overcrowding. The impending introduction of new higher speed rakes may help address the issue.

Staggering!

Arun Shourie -- Hindutva and radical Islam: Where the twain do meet?

2007-12-28T23:25:00.000+05:30

A superb piece (as always) by Arun Shourie. Read the full thing.

..................
It has almost become routine to slight Hindu sentiments — our smart-set do not even notice the slights they administer. Recall the jibe of decades: ‘the Hindu rate of growth’. When, because of those very socialist policies that their kind had swallowed and imposed on the country, our growth was held down to 3-4 per cent, it was dubbed — with much glee — as ‘the Hindu rate of growth’. Today, we are growing at 9 per cent. And, if you are to believe the nonsense in Sachar’s report, the minorities are not growing at all. So, who is responsible for this higher rate of growth? The Hindus! How come no one calls this higher rate of growth ‘the Hindu rate of growth’? Simple: dubbing the low rate as the Hindu one established you to be secular; not acknowledging the higher one as the Hindu rate establishes you to be secular!
.....................

Classic 'Animal Crackers' !

2007-12-28T16:07:00.001+05:30

Narendra Modi beats all odds

2007-12-26T00:02:00.000+05:30

In the End it wasn't even close.

A tally of 117 seats, beating the forecast of even the most optimistic psephologist and even the media's new favourite, the 'satta' market, delivered a stinging rebuke to the secular fundamentalists.
The victory was remarkable because Modi's opponents were (in decreasing order of strength) - the media, anti-incumbency, Sonia Gandhi and the BJP rebels. He fought them all, and by returning for a third term, (to use a cliche) turned conventional political wisdom on it's head.

I was happy for Modi, but disgusted at the behaviour of the 'celebrity' news anchors. Arnab Goswami was absolutely bawling out there. His face was beet-red and it was clear that he was absolutely gutted by the defeat of the Congress. He tried all the tricks to deny Modi his rightful victory.

Samples ( close to verbatim):

1.Arnab (sound level dangerously close to the danger zone for deafness) : "Mr.Javdekar..accept it..Modi has won, not the BJP."

2."Say it sir...will Modi come to the national scene? He's a threat to Advani isn't he?"

He was blatantly disrespecting Prakash Javdekar. Javdekar was left groping for answers, not because he didn't have the answers but because he couldn't believe that such a stupid person existed. His predicament reminded me of the quote "Never argue with a fool, he will lower you to his level and then beat you with his experience."

In contrast, while addressing the Congress representative, Goswami's tone was deferential, with a hint of sadness.

"Hello sir, welcome. What went wrong sir?"

It was pathetic. Veerappa Moily was squawking his ass off too. He said that the BJP should be banished from India (or words to that effect). What a loser! Literally!

"Name the newspaper" contest - I

2007-12-22T11:24:00.001+05:30

Name the newspaper that published this earth-shattering result.

We DO have a chance

2007-12-20T19:12:00.000+05:30

Mukul Kesavan sums up India's scenarios here

If we overcome, as we did on our last tour of Australia, the jitters of the first Test and manage to draw it, I think we have a reasonable chance of splitting the series. Draw at the MCG, win at the SCG, lose at the WACA and bring out the batting heroics to draw the last Test in Adelaide. That's the sanguine but sane scenario. The insanely optimistic one is that we win at Sydney and don't lose at Perth. Everything else remains equal and we win 1-0.

I do hope the "insanely optimistic" scenario plays out.
Optimists may feel that we have a better chance than last time because Australia are without three of their greatest match-winners - Shane Warne, Glenn McGrath and Ajit Agarkar.

Even then, it's hard to imagine India coming away with anything less than a 0-3 whipping (with a draw at Sydney). Just half a day of preparation for a tour of Australia!
We're going to see some very bruised egos in a month's time. God save India's pride.

Predicta!

2007-12-20T18:49:00.000+05:30

India's best-case and worst-case results in the first test against Australia

My predictions:

I.India bat first

1.WORST CASE
India 220 all out
Australia 600/5 decl.
India 300 all out

Australia win by an innings and 80 runs

2.BEST CASE
India 510 all out
Australia 690 all out
India 230/6

Match drawn

3.MIRACLE CASE (ROTFL Alert!)
India 635/6 decl.
Australia 415 all out
Australia 275 all out
India 56/0

India win by 10 wickets

II.India bowl first

1.WORST CASE
Australia 620/5 decl.
India 290 all out
300 all out

Australia win by an innings and 30 runs

2.BEST CASE
Australia 440 all out
India 470 all out
Australia 295/2 decl.
India 30/3

Match drawn.

3.MIRACLE CASE (ROTFL Alert!)
Australia 220 all out
India 640/8 decl.
Australia 400 all out

India win by an innings and 20 runs.

DISCLAIMER :
1. Don't bet on these results though!
2. I won't eat my words. If India wins, the match was fixed.
:D

Four stumps anyone?

2007-12-20T18:16:00.000+05:30

Cricinfo: What about four stumps and free hits for first ball?

An Australian Cricketers' Association (ACA) survey conducted on the future of Twenty20 has raised some interesting suggestions for the shorter format of the game, reports the Sydney Morning Herald. The ideas included using four stumps instead of three and giving a free hit from the first ball a batsman faced.

My take:
Whether we like it or not, all this "tinkering around" is inevitable really. There's no way cricket is going to compete with sports like football unless it is radically altered. The only thing that is going to remain same (or so I hope) is wood striking leather.
But the idea of having four stumps is preposterous. To think it's the players who're suggesting this! (I can imagine hare-brained Sharad Pawar or Niranjan Shah suggesting this) On second thought, I think we can have four stumps when Australia are batting. Not otherwise. For our batsmen, even three stumps are too many.

It's a zero-sum game

2007-12-16T00:13:00.000+05:30

1. I won 1000 rupees
2. I'm going to lose 1000 rupees ( or even more)

It's a zero-sum game...and it ain't fair!!!

Let me make things clearer. I won the IITB Mood Indigo online quiz(+1000).
I also horribly messed up my semester exams. (-1000..for re-evaluation of my answer papers)

(They don't even return the money in case the marks increase. I'm going to sue those b****rds. Or better, I'll tell the Times of India!)

The numbers in my result hurt. To be a little polite, they're not very pretty. No excuses.
This is the darkest hour. But, I see light ahead. And it's NOT that of an oncoming train.

Fin!

2007-12-13T09:55:00.000+05:30

Whew! I've been desperately busy over the past two weeks. My sleep cycle was laid awry (prompting my mom to comment that I had already adjusted to American timings; no jet lag !). For the first time in my life, I experienced a "headache" as they define it. I slept during train journeys and bus rides, GoogleTalk-ed (and blogged too) at weird hours, and wrote essays half-asleep( only the stupid ones - describe how you will contribute to the diversity at ABC State University - not the important ones like the SOP ;) - that defence was for my conscience actually).

Well, all that is finally over now. I just hope it comes to something in the end.

PS: During my countless Google searches, I reached the end of the internet.

PS PS : I'm going to follow that advice.

(Blogging will continue.)

(Do you see a contradiction?)

The spectre of errors in TOI

2007-12-11T20:48:00.000+05:30

Actually ET

The reporter must have thought that "spectrum" is the singular for "spectre". Poor guy.

Ho-Hum

2007-12-07T17:43:00.000+05:30

predictable adjective
1 Something which is predictable happens in a way or at a time which you know about before it happens

2 DISAPPROVING happening or behaving in a way that you expect and not unusual or interesting

Read this.
Now read this.

A learning curve

2007-12-04T15:01:00.000+05:30

I have spent the last 1.5 hours on this . The article and its comments have been 'unputdownable' so to speak.
The article has 142 comments! Unbelievable ! (Wait a minute.One of his more recent posts has 558!!)
What's more, most of the comments on the article are good stuff, not like Orkut rants. How do these guys manage to write so well ?

GreatBong, Sandeep,Nitin Pai, Reality-Check, Barbarindian and so many others - how do they manage to produce such regular and brilliant analyses of current issues?

[I wanted to include Amit Varma above but I also wanted to say brilliant analyses. So obviously he was out. The guy can write, but he seems to think that posting stupid links to weird blogs and writing "Heh!" and "WTF" underneath is great blogging]

I enjoy Sandeep and Barbarindian for their hard-hitting posts, Reality-Check for his relentless "gimme data" posts and Chindu for exposing the Hindu for the Communist rag that it is. They've gained the respect of readers and that's something that's tough to achieve. They influence opinions of people (like me!). To me, that's the aim of blogging.

(Among non-bloggers, there's a certain 'Ot' who comments on Sandeep's blog. Whoever he/she is, I find his(her?) writings outstanding. Absolutely brilliant.)

OBO commentary

2007-12-02T00:25:00.000+05:30

Of late I've discovered that OBO (over-by-over) commentary has its own charm. Unlike ball-by-ball commentary, OBO allows the commentator to give us a picture of the entire over. It allows for analysis, however brief.

Cricinfo's ball-by-ball commentary sometimes gets dull and repetitive. On the other hand The Guardian's OBO commentary absolutely rocks. I've always enjoyed British writing and British humour. The commentary has a certain light and biased feel to it. It's rather like commentary by a fan, rather than an obnoxious "pundit". StickCricket is another wonderful site for obo commentary. Their live commentary during the T20 final had me in splits. Sample these:

Over No. 11: India 82-2
Afridi's whipping through the overs here. Yeah - Pakistan coach Professor Lawson is apparently very happy with things at the halfway stage but doubtless the india coach would be too.

If they had one.

I don't know about you, but that had me rolling on the floor. There's something so "British" about that.

Another one:

Over No. 10: Pakistan 70-4
Pathan back on as India goes for the jugular. The Pakistan bench looks a tad shell shocked, presumably in response to the scoreboard. Or Henry Lawson's threat to confiscate the team Xbox 360 should they lose here today.

Hahahaaa....

One more

In comes a slip. In a Twenty20. Bumble is incredulous. Meanwhile Nasser recounts that he was there when Twenty20 born - soon he'll be claiming he invented it. Hey, it happened with Al Gore and the intaweb!

Rohit Sharma strides to the middle with a concerned look on his face. Maybe he's worried that Dhoni will use his iPod and run the batteries down?

Oh man! That's an art. How can you write like that over in and over out?
The Guardian too has a great OBO team. Pity they only cover England matches.

Sub-prime crisis hits IIM-A

2007-11-29T15:45:00.000+05:30

IIM-A placements could be slowing - livemint

That's some food for thought ;)

Out with the Neo,In with the Old

2007-11-29T10:01:00.000+05:30

The last 3 weeks have been agonizing. Neo Sports should be banned for subjecting its viewers to extreme mental torture.

Arun Lal and his bunch of jokers have contributed to making the India-Pakistan series even duller than it was. I even had to switch to DD a few times to listen to Hindi commentary when I couldn't bear Rameez Raja's embarrasing English.

Here's my review of the commentary of the India-Pakistan series.

Arun Lal:
English is good but repetitive. He could be the "Ravi Shastri of Neo Sports". His cliched commentary and droning voice have my finger on the mute button at all times - ready for any eventuality.

Lakshman Sivaramakrishnan:
(Yeah..that's how it's supposed to be spelt..not with the ugly "x" in the middle..BUT I digress!)

With a voice like a buzzing mosquito, he's not the greatest. Boring is the kindest adjective I can use. He could do with some voice modulation lessons(The way he says "EXcellent shot" (with a peak at "EX")).

During the first test, he got into trouble with Ian Bishop. The conversation went something like this

Siva: The problem umpires have with LBW shouts from Anil Kumble is that the ball travels at such great speed that the umpires have no time to see it and make a decision.

Ian Bishop : I completely disagree with you Siva. what about Shoaib Akhtar?

Hahaha..classic foot-in-mouth moment!

Aamir Sohail
Now... Aamir Sohail..is....one of the worst....commentators.....to have ever...commentated...and thennn..these Pakistani ballers...they....

(NOTE one dot(.) = 1 second pause)

(UPDATE :Well,that's too much of an exaggeration but his commentary does sound like machine gun fire.)

[EDIT: I've heard his voice over the last 5 days and decided that it's not how I've described it here. It's actually in the infra-sonic range. Plus, he's not the worst commentator. His analysis is mostly good. Dunno why I wrote what I wrote. ]

Rameez Raja

ONE WORD : Horrible. (If there is a stronger adjective please tell me)

Abysmal use of adjectives, idiotic accent( "Malik's everage is excellent") ,a total lack of analysis and a blatant bias towards the Pakistani team make him a strong contender for the bottom spot along with Aamir Sohail. (EDIT: Raja wins)

Some gems:
Loud appeal by Ganguly. Umpire gives it "not out". This is what Rameez Raja had to say
"That ball was missing leg stump by at least a mile"

There are countless instances where he's used completely unrelated and strange words as adjectives. Can't seem to remember many though ( too many of them I think ;))

1.He says "strike" instead of "stroke" as in "Good strike by Dravid". He seems to think it's very clever to use "strike". Ugh!
2.His pronunciation is awful - Yovraj for Yuvraj..as Balaji pointed out, Uthaaaapa for Uthappa
3. I heard his Hindi commentary is awful too. Balaji has this post on DD's commentators.

Ian Bishop and Bruce Yardley are the only saving graces for Nimbus.

UPDATE : I can't wait for the Australian series. Not that ESPN/Channel Nine with obnoxious commentators like Mark Nicholas will be any less biased -On the contrary, those Aussie commentators are the most biased of all, even more than Gavaskar - they'll just be a lot easier on my ears.

(Oh horrors, I just remembered - ESPN Star will tug along with them Gavaskar and Ravi Shastri! I don't want to spend my vacation hearing "he's a tall man Kumble","rapped on the pads,the finger goes up!").
Does Channel Nine have a DTH feed?

Slimes betrays its pseudo-secular credentials

2007-11-23T11:46:00.000+05:30

Slimes of India (fondly also called TOIlet paper) had a flurry of Muslim-appeasing on its pages last week.
Take this editorial.

In The Name Of Allah

A court in Saudi Arabia has upped the punishment it had decreed for a 19-year-old woman — a gang-rape victim — a year ago. Now, instead of 90 lashes, she will be subjected to 200 lashes in addition to being sent to jail for six months.

The woman's offence was she was found in the company of an unrelated male in a car, which is prohibited in the Arab kingdom. While they were together, she and her companion were attacked, and gang-raped, by a group of seven men. The rapists have received prison terms ranging from less than a year to five years.The woman's sentence has been increased because the court held her guilty of trying to influence its verdict by approaching the media.

Saudi authorities say the trial and sentences are in keeping with the provisions of the Sharia and, therefore, fair. Others would say it is a barbaric ruling. Saudi Arabia has an abysmal human rights record particularly where women are concerned. For instance, women in Saudi Arabia do not have voting rights, cannot drive, and require permission from men to travel or undergo surgery.

Who are those mysterious "others" who would (dare to) say that? This is your editorial. Stop pussyfooting around and say what you would say. It's obvious that Slimes does not have guts to condemn Muslims directly.

International organisations such as the United Nations Human Rights Commission and Amnesty International are critical of the draconian Saudi legal system, which sanctions beheading or amputations as legitimate forms of punishment.

Again, the cowards hide behind Amnesty International and the UN. Why are you so scared of criticizing Muslims?

Already, the kingdom funds madrassas and mosques globally as part of its agenda to popularise the ultraconservative Wahhabi branch of Islam.

Only madrassas and mosques? What's wrong with innocent, harmless religious activity meant to only ..ah.. "popularize"?
Unless you're talking about Islamic terror? Now now..say it directly will you?

(Aha....All this pussyfooting may have something to do with this, don't you think? Quite a generous space offered to the Islamic "Research" Foundation. Yes, maybe that explains the wishy-washy editorial)

This article, now a legend in the blogosphere, is a must-read.

More later.

The CAT

2007-11-18T19:51:00.001+05:30

Wasn't bad at all.
:)
But seriously,what's with all the hype?
Just another case of the Indian fascination(obsession?) with examinations.

I ran a news search on Google for CAT 2007

I browsed through this link

They had excerpts from a chat Q&A session on CAT 2007

Sample this:

Shekhar: Sir you have said that verbal ability is 8/10 while Quant you are rating as 7/10. So does it mean that Verbal Ability is tougher than Quant...

ROTFL.
Here's more.

Waseem: Sir, do you think that there was any difference in the questions put in the CAT...me and my friend had different Qs how can we match it?

Mr Arindam Lahiri, Director - Academics, CL: The questions would all be the same though their order may differ from set to set.

BTW,
Career Forum has predicted cutoffs for CAT 2007

Quant 31
DI 35
Verbal Ability 42
Overall 123+

ROTFLMAO!
The guys at Career Forum need a break!

What tomorrow holds

2007-11-17T20:23:00.000+05:30

Tomorrow is the widely-(over)hyped IIM-CAT.
Wonder what the folks at the IIMs are going to dish out this time around.

On a personal note, I'm going with a nothing-to-lose attitude. (Hope to crack it though. At least for the intellectual challenge it poses, if not for something more)

Breaking News

2007-11-17T19:48:00.000+05:30

The Economic Times breaks the story of the day

Narendra Modi to be BJP’s mascot for Gujarat polls

Who killed the 254 Hindus of Gujarat?

2007-11-17T19:34:00.000+05:30

Here is the statistic (or as Arvind Lavakare says, "the ultimate" statistic)

254 Hindus and 790 Muslims were killed in the Gujarat riots.

This comes, not from any "communal" or "Hindu fanatic" source,but from Shriprakash Jaiswal MoS for Home Affairs in the "secular" UPA government. He gave a written statement in Parliament no less.

Arvind Lavakare asks some uncomfortable questions in his superb article here

God save the Queen's language

2007-11-06T19:58:00.001+05:30

NHRC biased towards Gujarat: BJP

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw it first time. Biased TOWARDS Gujarat? The NHRC? Says the BJP?
I refreshed the page to make sure( 'course I didn't.But it adds to the effect, doesn't it?)

Ravi Shankar Prasad certainly couldn't have uttered those words.

First saw it on Yahoo News (which gets its news from IBNLive)here
A Google search showed the same headline on NDTV.com.Then I realized it was a mistake by PTI.
But what were CNN-IBN and NDTV doing?

Basic stuff this.

What's the hurry?

2007-11-03T16:45:00.000+05:30

Brahma Chellaney has this superb piece on the nuclear deal.
I'm a bit nowhere on the for-or-against-the-deal debate, but the article was mighty convincing. Some doubts linger though.
1. Can India afford to antagonize America?

2. China got a nuclear deal from the USA 10 years ago. It's not doing too badly is it?

U.S. desperation is showing

Stagecraft & Statecraft / Brahma Chellaney
...

An obvious question begging an answer is: What are the compelling interests America aims to advance through this deal that are prompting it to give high priority to getting this arrangement through, even if it results in Singh’s political downfall? Is the venerable Singh so dispensable for the US?

Why indeed is America using all it's might to convince us of the goodness of the deal? I won't be surprised if it's planting stories and editorials in friendly newspapers like TOI.

...

To personally lobby Indian leaders, the White House sent treasury secretary Henry M. Paulson and former secretary of state Henry Kissinger in recent days. And as if India were a Pakistan, where Washington brokered a Pervez Musharraf-Benazir Bhutto deal to help keep its pet dictator in power, the US is trying to cut a deal between the Congress party and BJP, so as to save another deal dear to it.

This Kissenger is the guy who in 1971 advised his President that Indians weren't to be trusted.

By pulling out all the stops, the signs of desperation have become unmistakeable. In fact, since that famous Bush call to Singh, no day has passed without some senior US official, diplomat or congressman telling India why it should seize the deal as a golden opportunity not to be missed. The US ambassador to India, for his part, has seemingly returned to his old marketing job, hawking the deal door-to-door — from South Block offices to the homes of important politicians in town.

...

Paulson, for example, counselled his host nation "to implement the agreement as soon as possible," acknowledging that the US has been "encouraging it to go forward as quickly as possible." Kissinger weighed in with his ominous hints about the effect of the deal’s collapse on India’s credibility. The smooth-talking Nicholas Burns, now making almost a daily statement on the deal, declared from Washington: "We, and many other governments, believe that India should grab this opportunity and enter a new era of relations with the US."

Make no mistake: It is the US which sees the deal as an irresistible opportunity, which, if taken advantage of, would bring lasting strategic benefits. There is thus dismay that Indian politics has stalled what the Bush administration had been savouring as a major foreign-policy accomplishment.

The US got the deal largely on its terms. In addition to the 41 pages of India-specific conditions in the Hyde Act (passed with bipartisan support after closed-door briefings), the US has concluded a so-called 123 Agreement without permitting India upfront to reprocess, or providing for a dispute mechanism (like the arbitral tribunal found in the 123 accord with Tokyo), or explicitly linking perpetual international inspections to perpetual fuel supply. Of all the 123 Agreements the US currently has with partner-states, the one with India stands out for conferring enforceable rights only on the supplier-state.

That is why, as the state department reiterated this week, the US will not accept renegotiation of the deal. Washington indeed wants New Delhi to speedily conclude a safeguards pact with the International Atomic Energy Agency because from then on, India would become a mere spectator, watching what additional conditions the Nuclear Suppliers Group and the US Congress may attach to the final deal.

America’s commercial interests in the deal are evident: The tens of billions of dollars worth of arms and reactor contracts it is likely to reap. Not so obvious is its huge strategic stake, which is two-fold.

First, the deal would open the path to rope in India more than just as a strategic partner. In a 21st-century world in which the concept of alliance is giving way to nations pursuing multiple partnerships to pursue a variety of interests with different players in diverse settings, the US still fancies bringing in India as a new Japan or Britain — an ally that would faithfully follow the alliance leader.

Burns makes no bones about America’s intent. "I think Americans might be able to say 20 years from now, India is one of our two or three most important partners in the world. That will be a tremendous strategic change for us… You need friends, you need allies," he said in an October 3 interview. At the Council on Foreign Relations on October 23, he amplified: "Twenty or 30 years from now, many Americans would say India is one of the two or three most important global partners — the way Japan and the European Union are today."

Second, the deal is the means to achieve a central US goal since the 1998 Indian tests — to prevent India’s rise as a full-fledged nuclear-weapons state and bring it into the US-led non-proliferation regime (or, what Burns calls, the "non-proliferation mainstream"). Having failed to stop India from going overtly nuclear, the US wants India’s capabilities to stay regionally confined (like Pakistan’s), even if that strategically disadvantages New Delhi vis-à-vis Beijing.

The first and second objectives are linked because, if this deal goes through, India would be saddled with a rudimentary and inadequate deterrent capability that would promote security dependency on the US, including for missile defence. Fostering security dependency is the key to winning and maintaining an ally.

In his 2004 book, Engaging India, Strobe Talbott wrote: "If there is a deal to be done with India, my guess is that it will be a version of the one offered by the Clinton administration and rejected by the BJP-led government. The four US-proposed non-proliferation benchmarks put forward in 1998 — joining the CTBT, making progress on a fissile material treaty, exercising strategic restraint (by that or some other name), and meeting the highest standard of export controls … should remain the basis of the American policy into the future. That means the US government should persist until the four areas of restraint become the basis of the Indian policy."

...

The Bush team indeed managed to secure more: While the Vajpayee government was willing to open two indigenous power reactors at the most to international inspections as part of a deal, the Singh government has agreed to put 35 nuclear facilities, including eight existing indigenous power reactors, under IAEA safeguards of a kind applicable only to non-nuclear states — perpetual and legally irrevocable.

In addition, it has agreed gratuitously to shut down the Cirus research reactor by 2010, (emphasis mine)

WTF?

an action that would significantly affect India’s rate of production of weapons-grade plutonium. Given that fuel burn-up in power reactors produces plutonium of a quality less desirable for weapons and that the use of power stations for such purposes, in any case, makes little economic sense, India has relied on its Cirus and Dhruva research reactors to derive supergrade plutonium. And given that Dhruva, commissioned in 1985, faced major startup problems that took a long time to rectify, most of India’s cumulative historic production of weapons-grade plutonium has come from Cirus — a point noted by Paul Nelson et al in a 2006 paper funded by the US Department of Energy.

In asking New Delhi to dismantle Cirus, the US has sought to crimp India’s nuclear-deterrent plans. As undersecretary Robert G. Joseph had asserted, deal-related measures "must contribute to our non-proliferation goals."

India could build a replacement reactor. But the long lead time needed to construct and commission such a reactor is bound to leave a major production shortfall. Yet, no explanation has been offered to the Indian public thus far as to why New Delhi, disregarding the advice of its Department of Atomic Energy, agreed to shut down the 40-MWth Cirus, which had been refurbished at a cost of millions of dollars and reopened only in 2004.(emphasis mine)

This is a shocker!

The key point is that if this US-dictated deal falls apart, it will not only deny America the handle it seeks on Indian policy and deterrent posture, but also its one-sidedly magnanimous terms are unlikely to be replicated in any future agreement. That is why Washington today is feverishly delivering the same two-word message: "Hurry up."

Let’s be clear: Time is on India’s side. The real test the deal has to pass is whether it can survive a change of government both in New Delhi and Washington. And the test for Singh, given the upcoming Parliament session, is whether the deal can withstand what he has so far sought to thwart but now ought to allow — close legislative scrutiny.

After all, India should enter into the arrangement, not as a good deed for the US, but for its own good. Every right-thinking Indian would want US-inspired technology controls against his country to go, but that can hardly justify "a deal at any cost" approach or the use of rose-coloured vision to sell Indians a fantasy. The present deal does not cover high-technology and civilian space controls against India and indeed leaves intact even restrictions on civil enrichment and reprocessing equipment transfers.

The current hold on the deal, forced by domestic political circumstances, underscores the vitality of Indian democracy. It can only help enhance India’s international stature and safeguard national interests.

(Now, this "vitality of Indian democracy" is a load of bulls**t. The Communists are Chinese agents, as Prakash Karat himself reminded us. )